Max-stravaganza

“Cycles” By Max Davison If it weren't for the fact that we aren't attracted to one another, Cassie Peterson and I would be married by now. Or at least in a monogamous committed relationship in which we refuse to get married as a way of defying the cultural norm (her idea, not mine). I’m sure that there is some alternate universe where we’re living together. Some Earth-2 version of us where we're smiling, spending our Saturdays at Pottery Barn, laughing at the couples who are having legitimate arguments about place settings. We go mini-golfing not because of the kitsch factor but rather because we love the competition and neither of us can drive worth a damn. Yes, it would all be perfect except for that one snag: neither of us has any inclination. She's my friend. Purely Platonic. And I will now pause while you have the following reaction: *cough* Yeah right *cough*. Glad that's out of your system.  It's an argumentative friendship that occasionally

We’ve got a packed house today, so please try to find a seat.   Welcome to Archaeology 105.   I’m Cody, your T.A. for the semester.   Unfortunately Dr. Jones will not be in class this week.   He’s off on one of his, let’s say, “side projects.”   So, until he returns, I’ll be taking over his lectures and office hours.   Luckily for you I wrote the lesson plan for him, so you’re not going to miss out on anything.   So if you’ll open your books to page-- Ladies?   Why are you leaving?   Oh, you were just auditing?   All right.   Well, today’s lecture will focus on Mesopotamia’s development.   Archaeologist Kathleen Kenyon was the first to state that the Neolithic Era could be broken down into two distinct-- Me?   No.   I haven’t been on any adventures with Dr. Jones. Although, last summer I did take part in an archaeological dig in New Mexico.   Well, if we’re being technical I just assisted in the dig.   Either way, we didn’t uncover anything other than shards of pottery.