Max-stravaganza

The Expendables III hits theaters this weekend.  Normally, I would be camped outside the AMC Burbank right, but I was fairly disappointed with Part II.  Couldn't really connect with the characters, the plot lacked the original's subtleties and was almost too easy to follow, I realized that Stallone's character is named "Barney," and despite the larger budget, the filmmakers offered lower stakes. Back in 2010 , after the release of the first film, I suggested that the sequel should feature a Legion of Doom supergroup of supervillains.  A murderer's row of rogue murderers.  The Traveling Willburys of Villainy.  Instead, the second movie used the following equation for conflict: Expendables + Liam Hemsworth + Chuck Norris - Mickey Rourke > Villains + JCVD - Stone Cold - Eric Roberts Now, I may be three credits short of my Expendatology degree, but that looks like obvious math to me.  The First Law of Sequel Villain Inflation (or "Action Movie Aff

We all know the story.  Hero, on his trusty steed, gallops toward the castle.  The tower is guarded by dragons, a moat, possibly an enchanted spell or two.  The reason he is boldly (some might say recklessly) charging into danger is his one true love, the Princess, who is currently trapped in a dungeon by order of her evil step-parent/paranoid tyrant/malevolent warlock.  Our shining knight smites the foes, rescues the princess, and happily ever after we close the book. In recent decades, this tale has morphed into the classic Nora Ephron Romantic Comedy.  Guy meets girl.  Due to misunderstandings or professional rivalries, they can't be together.  And just when he's about to accept love into his life,   the dragon-infested castle emerges at the end of act two.  Ten minutes of indecision later, our   Hero, now understanding that he is, in fact, capable of a relationship, finally rescues the Princess thanks to a grand romantic gesture...only it turns out that she is actually re