Max-stravaganza

Combining the expansive scope of Grand Theft Auto and the intricate character customization of Mass Effect, Facebook is possibly the most engrossing open-world RPG available on the market.   Some may be intimidated by the constant updates needed to keep the game moving forward, but Facebook provides an unimaginably detailed world that grows more complex as you share more information about and develop your character. The goal of Facebook’s single-player mode is straightforward: accumulate and maintain the largest network of friends while not alienating them by oversharing.   When first developed, the game was a simple, college-based MMO with only one level: use your profile to get laid.   Facebook has since expanded, but still retains much of the original’s “girl stalking”-based objective. Before building both a social network and your feeling of self-worth, you first establish your character’s stats, fleshing out a backstory of education and employment, selecti...

At 8:45pm she arrived at the bar for her 8:30 date, although carrying herself with the calmness of a woman who was only running five minutes behind.   When meeting for the first time, it is advisable to  show up eleven minutes late.  Let him know that you're worth the extra time alone.  Eleven is an odd number so it doesn't seem too premeditated but is substantial enough to make it clear   who is going on a date with whom. Parking was a hassle, which attributed to the non-power-play lateness.  She kept spiraling up and up in the parking structure, every helpful green light mocking her with a compact car already in the space.  After settling for the roof, she promptly stepped in a puddle and had to wipe down her far-too-constricting shoes.  She then missed the light and had to wait at three consecutive crosswalks, which at least gave her time to get over her nerves by pre-selecting what drink she would order. He was already sitting at ...

CHAPTER ONE There were five good reasons why Joshua Chambers was intent on running the red light at the end of the Laurel Canyon offramp.    First and most pressing was the fact that his bladder was particularly full this evening.    Normally, Josh wasn’t a fan of coffee (his system prone to fits of caffeine drunkenness).   His coffee break was merely a reminder that it was 2:30, a benchmark to hit on the way from 9 to 5.   Today, however, he actually needed the jolt of energy.   His agency’s main client, Sombrero Corn Chips, wanted a new presentation by the next morning.   They were marketing a new type of corn chip to consumers, “This time, with the built in taste of guacamole.”   They weren’t particularly wild about the current slogan/result of the previous 2am brainstorming session, “Holy Mole!”   Works fine when said aloud, but it doesn’t translate well to print, resulting in a sacred weasel.    Creative...

A LONG GOODBYE TO THE LITTLE SISTER A Raymond Chandler Bing mystery Chapter One: Under the Dame The cracked and fading text on the door read: "R.C. Bing: Dick for Hire."  I've never been happy with the phrasing on that.   Thought about "This gun for hire" to capture a Dashiell Hammett meets Bruce Springsteen vibe.  Problem being, I'm not licensed to carry a firearm so technically it would be false advertising.  Not that it bothers any of my competitors.  Really doubt your name is "Allen Wrench" and you're "Licensed and bonded to open up any case." Still, my amateurish slogan didn't deter this broad.  W hether she was looking for a dick or a gun, she walked into my office.   Even had the manners to knock first .   The dame stood in my doorway like a hurricane waiting to hit land.   Could she be any more brooding?  I mean, come on. She slinked over to my desk, slowly moving one hip in front of the other like she was Jessica...

As most old adults know, the easiest way to grab Hollywood's attention is to write a great Young Adult franchise.  Studios are looking for any property that they can spin into the next Twilight or Hunger Games, and preferably one where they don't have to pay for the rights. This means that the Public Domain is a new source of original inspiration.  Practically any text can be converted into a YA love story.  See: Alice in Wonderland, Snow White and the Huntsman, Red Riding Hood, Once Upon a Time, and Beauty and the Beast on The CW.  There are competing Peter Pan projects  in the pipeline as well as Kenneth Branagh's upcoming Cinderella reboot for Disney. Elements needed: A teenage female protagonist who spends a good portion of the novel writing in her diary (providing ultra-angsty exposition) A distant, emo love interest (preferably sparkling) Strange, guttural, borderline Seussian gibberish names like Haymitch Abernathy or Tris Prior A love tria...