Max-stravaganza

Guys, we need to have a serious conversation about this current atrocity.  After the horrific events that occurred on Wednesday, I sat down and posted an eloquent and well thought out response. I was able to mourn while also forcing us to confront the real reasons behind it. By sharing a personal anecdote, I connected myself to the tragedy in order to show that we aren’t so far removed from what we see on the news. We all live in the same world and we need to take ownership of that fact. As it stands, it currently only has six likes. Six. This is unacceptable.  Dakota Baker posted a meme of an inspirational JFK quote and it has over 47 likes. Sandra Gutierrez simply posted “When will this country finally say ‘Enough is enough?’” And she’s getting comments like “^^^THIS!” and “Amen” and “Can’t agree more!” Four people even clicked “Share.” Are you serious? There’s no substance to that post. What is there even to share? I mean, the picture I posted on F...

The Parable of the Great Samaritan A man was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho when thieves robbed him, attacked him and left him for dead.   First, a priest came down the road, but he passed by and kept riding.   Then came a Levite, who also walked away without helping the man.   Then came a Samaritan, who took pity and showed him mercy.   He said, “My friend, let us find the evil men who did this to you.” “The robbers?” “Oh no.   We’re never going to catch them.   And besides, they’re probably poor, disenfranchised men who are just trying to provide for their families.   I mean the Levite and the Priest.   We can make an example out of those wealthy, privileged, blind-eye-turners.” So they hunted down and found the Levite and the Priest in their respective hometowns and publicly shamed them.   “Why could you not be bothered to help?   Do you lack basic human decency?”   Those two would forever be remembered as ...

We’re still not sure for whom this episode was intended.   Fans absolutely hate it.   Those involved in the production disown it.   The cast despises it.   It consistently ranks among the worst installments in the franchise’s history. “Threshold,” the 1996 episode of Star Trek: Voyager , is an hour of television with no real purpose.   Bereft of logic, there is no lesson learned and the consequences of the episode are never mentioned again.   If this were Friends , it would be known as “The One Where Tom Paris Mutates Into a Salamander and Spawns with Captain Janeway.” And it also happened to be the episode that hooked me on Star Trek. I encountered “Threshold” when I was nine-years-old, at the height of my pre-pubescence.   It hit the trifecta for elements that excite pre-teen sci-fi fans: Brazen scientific exploration, the freakshow factor, and weird implied sex scenes.   My folks were in the other room so I watched the show as thou...

“Cycles” By Max Davison If it weren't for the fact that we aren't attracted to one another, Cassie Peterson and I would be married by now. Or at least in a monogamous committed relationship in which we refuse to get married as a way of defying the cultural norm (her idea, not mine). I’m sure that there is some alternate universe where we’re living together. Some Earth-2 version of us where we're smiling, spending our Saturdays at Pottery Barn, laughing at the couples who are having legitimate arguments about place settings. We go mini-golfing not because of the kitsch factor but rather because we love the competition and neither of us can drive worth a damn. Yes, it would all be perfect except for that one snag: neither of us has any inclination. She's my friend. Purely Platonic. And I will now pause while you have the following reaction: *cough* Yeah right *cough*. Glad that's out of your system.  It's an argumentative friendship that occasionally...

We’ve got a packed house today, so please try to find a seat.   Welcome to Archaeology 105.   I’m Cody, your T.A. for the semester.   Unfortunately Dr. Jones will not be in class this week.   He’s off on one of his, let’s say, “side projects.”   So, until he returns, I’ll be taking over his lectures and office hours.   Luckily for you I wrote the lesson plan for him, so you’re not going to miss out on anything.   So if you’ll open your books to page-- Ladies?   Why are you leaving?   Oh, you were just auditing?   All right.   Well, today’s lecture will focus on Mesopotamia’s development.   Archaeologist Kathleen Kenyon was the first to state that the Neolithic Era could be broken down into two distinct-- Me?   No.   I haven’t been on any adventures with Dr. Jones. Although, last summer I did take part in an archaeological dig in New Mexico.   Well, if we’re being technical I just assisted in the dig....

Hello, little man.  I’ve sure heard a great deal about you.    See, your old man and I were pretty close.  And I’ve got something to give to you.  In my hands is a cellular telephone that was first purchased by your grandfather Charlie back in twenty ought two.  It was bought at a store known as “Circuit City” and was manufactured by Motorola, one of the first companies to ever make mobile devices.  Up until then, people only talked on the phone when they were at home.  If they were out of the house, they just didn’t pick up. Charlie had been told that cell phones were the way of the future, but your grandfather never really used it apart from the occasional game of Snake.  There were still payphones and landlines, you see.  The most utility he got out of it was as an accessory, clipping it onto the front of his belt. Realizing that it was useless in his own hands, he offered the phone to his son, your uncle, Dakota. ...

The Expendables III hits theaters this weekend.  Normally, I would be camped outside the AMC Burbank right, but I was fairly disappointed with Part II.  Couldn't really connect with the characters, the plot lacked the original's subtleties and was almost too easy to follow, I realized that Stallone's character is named "Barney," and despite the larger budget, the filmmakers offered lower stakes. Back in 2010 , after the release of the first film, I suggested that the sequel should feature a Legion of Doom supergroup of supervillains.  A murderer's row of rogue murderers.  The Traveling Willburys of Villainy.  Instead, the second movie used the following equation for conflict: Expendables + Liam Hemsworth + Chuck Norris - Mickey Rourke > Villains + JCVD - Stone Cold - Eric Roberts Now, I may be three credits short of my Expendatology degree, but that looks like obvious math to me.  The First Law of Sequel Villain Inflation (or "Action Movie Aff...

We all know the story.  Hero, on his trusty steed, gallops toward the castle.  The tower is guarded by dragons, a moat, possibly an enchanted spell or two.  The reason he is boldly (some might say recklessly) charging into danger is his one true love, the Princess, who is currently trapped in a dungeon by order of her evil step-parent/paranoid tyrant/malevolent warlock.  Our shining knight smites the foes, rescues the princess, and happily ever after we close the book. In recent decades, this tale has morphed into the classic Nora Ephron Romantic Comedy.  Guy meets girl.  Due to misunderstandings or professional rivalries, they can't be together.  And just when he's about to accept love into his life,   the dragon-infested castle emerges at the end of act two.  Ten minutes of indecision later, our   Hero, now understanding that he is, in fact, capable of a relationship, finally rescues the Princess thanks to a grand romantic gestu...