So it's been brought to my attention that maybe "Dan" and his use of the word 'lede' wasn't as incorrect as this blogger would lead you all to believe. Well, I'd apologize if I thought I had anything to apologize for. Who the hell uses the word "lede" when "lead" is so much more well known? It's like saying "masticate" when you mean "chew." The only difference is that masticate sounds like a very funny word for playing with yourself, while "lede" only serves to sound pretentious and confuse well-read CMC literature majors.
Allright. Back to the trip.
New Zealand is one of those backwards, Metric system countries that drives on the left. I really have no idea what the benefit is to this. The majority of people in the world are right handed, so it would only make sense that the gear shift would be on the driver's right. But New Zealand doesn't want to make life easy so we drive on the left hand side of the road. I bet "Dan" from cafeabroad.com would love it if everyone in the world had to drive on the left. Dear god do I hate that guy. He's the Hugh Jackman to my Dr. Cox. There are so many things that I hate about what "Dan" chooses to be...
Allright. Back to the trip.
I didn't drive that much on the South Island (since technically it would be illegal), but when I did (when has that ever stopped me before?) I had to keep telling myself "LEFT. STAY ON THE LEFT. TED KENNEDY LEFT." And all the while I'm doing my best impression of Alvy Singer trying to navigate his way through L.A. traffic (Five Schrute Bucks if anyone other than my parents gets that one).
So for those of you worried about my driving abilities, take solace in the fact that I was in no way responsible for what happened on our way to Milford Sound. Read on...
So this was our beautiful camper van. We nicknamed her CVI (and due to our penchant for roman numerals, 106). I was pulling for christening the vans "Snowman" and "The Bandit," but apparently no one else in my group was familiar with classic pieces of Americana or CB Lingo.
I spent 16 days driving around in this bad boy. The four of us got to know each other very well after two and a half weeks. Got accustomed to other people's eating habits, snoring habits, sleep walking, sleep talking (that one's me, as anyone who's shared a room with me will know), political views, passive aggressivity, taste in iPod playlists, etc. And I also got addicted to Nutella, but that's a long story for another blog entry.
106 had treated us well for the first 9 days, and then the unthinkable happened.
We got stuck in a tunnel.
You see, as we were entering the tunnel, another camper van (probably a drunk driver) was driving right down the center of the road.
(Note: I have found that there are very few drunk NZ drivers. Why is this the case? It's because drink doesn't effect hobbits at all. The only substance that they can become dependent upon is heroin).
So our van swerved to the left and that was followed by the unmistakable sound of plastic on concrete.
The damage wasn't so bad and we were able to reshape the car to the point where no one could tell the difference.
And then the birds attacked:
Yes, a rabid swarm of Kea (a highly unusual species of parrot found in the alpine regions of the South Island of New Zealand. Source: wikipedia.) descended upon our camper in a Hitchcockian fury and started going to town on our roof like Star Jones at IHOP.
And thanks to those photos, we were able to prove to the insurance company that we were not liable for the damage. And that's why you always keep a camera in your glove compartment. True story.
But thanks to duct tape and a couple of animal sacrifices, we found safe passage. We even traveled up the world's steepest street in Dunedin.
Definitely going to miss my camper van days. After nomadically sleeping in my sleeping bag on a bench for 16 days, it was strange coming back to a twin sized bed.
So it goes...
-MGD
Vernon Davis Fun Fact of the Day:
Superman may be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but has he ever proved it at the Combine? Yet another reason why Vernon Davis would whoop the Last Son of Kypton's ass.
Allright. Back to the trip.
New Zealand is one of those backwards, Metric system countries that drives on the left. I really have no idea what the benefit is to this. The majority of people in the world are right handed, so it would only make sense that the gear shift would be on the driver's right. But New Zealand doesn't want to make life easy so we drive on the left hand side of the road. I bet "Dan" from cafeabroad.com would love it if everyone in the world had to drive on the left. Dear god do I hate that guy. He's the Hugh Jackman to my Dr. Cox. There are so many things that I hate about what "Dan" chooses to be...
Allright. Back to the trip.
I didn't drive that much on the South Island (since technically it would be illegal), but when I did (when has that ever stopped me before?) I had to keep telling myself "LEFT. STAY ON THE LEFT. TED KENNEDY LEFT." And all the while I'm doing my best impression of Alvy Singer trying to navigate his way through L.A. traffic (Five Schrute Bucks if anyone other than my parents gets that one).
So for those of you worried about my driving abilities, take solace in the fact that I was in no way responsible for what happened on our way to Milford Sound. Read on...
So this was our beautiful camper van. We nicknamed her CVI (and due to our penchant for roman numerals, 106). I was pulling for christening the vans "Snowman" and "The Bandit," but apparently no one else in my group was familiar with classic pieces of Americana or CB Lingo.
I spent 16 days driving around in this bad boy. The four of us got to know each other very well after two and a half weeks. Got accustomed to other people's eating habits, snoring habits, sleep walking, sleep talking (that one's me, as anyone who's shared a room with me will know), political views, passive aggressivity, taste in iPod playlists, etc. And I also got addicted to Nutella, but that's a long story for another blog entry.
106 had treated us well for the first 9 days, and then the unthinkable happened.
We got stuck in a tunnel.
You see, as we were entering the tunnel, another camper van (probably a drunk driver) was driving right down the center of the road.
(Note: I have found that there are very few drunk NZ drivers. Why is this the case? It's because drink doesn't effect hobbits at all. The only substance that they can become dependent upon is heroin).
So our van swerved to the left and that was followed by the unmistakable sound of plastic on concrete.
The damage wasn't so bad and we were able to reshape the car to the point where no one could tell the difference.
And then the birds attacked:
Yes, a rabid swarm of Kea (a highly unusual species of parrot found in the alpine regions of the South Island of New Zealand. Source: wikipedia.) descended upon our camper in a Hitchcockian fury and started going to town on our roof like Star Jones at IHOP.
And thanks to those photos, we were able to prove to the insurance company that we were not liable for the damage. And that's why you always keep a camera in your glove compartment. True story.
But thanks to duct tape and a couple of animal sacrifices, we found safe passage. We even traveled up the world's steepest street in Dunedin.
Definitely going to miss my camper van days. After nomadically sleeping in my sleeping bag on a bench for 16 days, it was strange coming back to a twin sized bed.
So it goes...
-MGD
Vernon Davis Fun Fact of the Day:
Superman may be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but has he ever proved it at the Combine? Yet another reason why Vernon Davis would whoop the Last Son of Kypton's ass.
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