In case you haven't seen the footage, it's right here.
But Milton Bradley has finally out Milton Bradley-ed himself.
When I heard the news that an idiot outfielder got booted from another game, I didn't even have to ask "GUESS WHO?" Of course, it was Milton Bradley.
After singling to center, Bradley threw his bat (intentionally?) towards the home plate umpire. The first base blue called him on this, and then MB went defcon 5 and manned his BATTLESHIP. And then his right leg snapped backwards like a MOUSE TRAP. Bradley was going to be a big part of San Diego's effort to CONNECT FOUR playoff wins. Perhaps he needed a better STRATEGO than to just charge at the first base blue, since he ended up crawling on the ground like was playing TWISTER. All the while, it looks like the Padres' playoff hopes are toppling over. JENGA.
I'm going to stop saying that something's retarded (I'm too liberal with that word anyway). I'm just going to say that it's "Milton."
It goes down as one of the dumbest sports injuries, in good company with Bill Gramatica tearing his ACL in a celebratory leap and Glenallen Hill having a nightmare about spiders, falling out of bed and into a glass table.
Call him a racist or what have you, but at least Jeff Kent broke his wrist being manly while washing his truck (or possibly racing ATVs).
So what do you do with a mentally imballanced, All Star caliber right fielder? Anger Management is one issue, but I doubt that even spending two years with Jack Nicholson will bring Milton back to planet earth. Sensitivity training? Worthless. Reprogramming? Wears off. My recommendation? Frontal lobe lobotomy. Instant attitude adjustment.
But at least he can take consolation in knowing that he's not the craziest player in the MLB. Carl Everett still denies the existence of dinosaurs.
-MGD
Max Davison is a Junior at Claremont McKenna College, pursuing a dual major in Literature and Film Studies. He was born down in a dead man's town. The first kick he took was when he hit the ground.
But Milton Bradley has finally out Milton Bradley-ed himself.
When I heard the news that an idiot outfielder got booted from another game, I didn't even have to ask "GUESS WHO?" Of course, it was Milton Bradley.
After singling to center, Bradley threw his bat (intentionally?) towards the home plate umpire. The first base blue called him on this, and then MB went defcon 5 and manned his BATTLESHIP. And then his right leg snapped backwards like a MOUSE TRAP. Bradley was going to be a big part of San Diego's effort to CONNECT FOUR playoff wins. Perhaps he needed a better STRATEGO than to just charge at the first base blue, since he ended up crawling on the ground like was playing TWISTER. All the while, it looks like the Padres' playoff hopes are toppling over. JENGA.
I'm going to stop saying that something's retarded (I'm too liberal with that word anyway). I'm just going to say that it's "Milton."
It goes down as one of the dumbest sports injuries, in good company with Bill Gramatica tearing his ACL in a celebratory leap and Glenallen Hill having a nightmare about spiders, falling out of bed and into a glass table.
Call him a racist or what have you, but at least Jeff Kent broke his wrist being manly while washing his truck (or possibly racing ATVs).
So what do you do with a mentally imballanced, All Star caliber right fielder? Anger Management is one issue, but I doubt that even spending two years with Jack Nicholson will bring Milton back to planet earth. Sensitivity training? Worthless. Reprogramming? Wears off. My recommendation? Frontal lobe lobotomy. Instant attitude adjustment.
But at least he can take consolation in knowing that he's not the craziest player in the MLB. Carl Everett still denies the existence of dinosaurs.
-MGD
Max Davison is a Junior at Claremont McKenna College, pursuing a dual major in Literature and Film Studies. He was born down in a dead man's town. The first kick he took was when he hit the ground.
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