Season three of Downton Abbey (or "Series Three" as BBCphiles refer to it) proved that Julian Fellowes is walking the path of least resistance. The plotlines were engaging, but with the exception of the occasional death, the resolutions were far too simple, sacrificing any potentially profound moments of dread and doubt in order to maintain the understated Colin Firthiness of the status quo.
At the first hint of conflict, characters will worry, demonstrably pace back and forth, make loud declarations about how there is no easy resolution to the problem. Barring an act of God, Downton will be doomed to financial ruin, scandal, a world war! There are no simple answers, and we cannot stress that point enough.
Just when it seems that Downton is about to get hit by a torrential downpour of change and death and ramifications that will forever alter the landscape...they find a shockingly simple, anti-climactic resolution and continue on. It's becoming the Entourage of the United Kingdom.
In the instances when Fellowes doesn't rely upon the deus ex machina to rescue his characters, he invokes the J.J. Abrams1/Eric Holder/Bobby Valentine/Sanitation Commissioner Homer Simpson strategy of "Just ignore the problem, and it will go away2."
For example:
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Breaking Bad - Season Three ends with Gale swearing to never, ever cook meth again. Walter and Jesse give him a suspicious once over...and then trust him wholeheartedly. They celebrate with some impromptu karaoke. A perpetually oblivious Hank joins the party, bringing over a case of his homebrew.
The Whites receive a letter from Gus, stating that he has moved away to Florida to open a new Pollos Hermanos franchise. And even though he swears brutal vengeance and that his new caliente sauce will be flavored with Walter Jr.'s blood, deep down they know that this is an empty threat.
Game of Thrones - With his head ready to be chopped, Eddard makes an impassioned plea to the kingdom. A single tear drops from Ser Ilyn's silent eyes as he decides to spare the Lord of Winterfell's life. Joffrey and Sansa are granted a quickie divorce and, since a trip to the Wall isn't enough punishment for a incestuous bastard, Joff will serve as an attack dummy for Arya and her Braavosi sword instructor (who survived the attack thanks to his previously unknown shapeshifting ability).
With a huge power vacuum in the kingdom, both Stannis and Renly launch an all-out assault on King's Landing...and the Battle of Blackwater occurs off camera. With Renly seated on the Iron Throne, his relationship with Loras will be the driving conflict next season, and will be painfully dragged out for all 10 episodes.
In a stunning turn of events, the White Walkers are revealed to be the reanimated bodies of the massacred House Targaryen. This looks to start a powerful war...until Daenerys shows up with her dragons. They melt the icy terrain (again, off-camera), making it hospitable. Everyone agrees to stay in their own kingdom. "Why bother ruling all of Westeros when we can happily live in peace side by side?"
Ygritte is now civilized and decides to work as a chamber maid on the Wall. Jon Snow learns that his mother actually was Catelyn all along. Ned was just screwing with him in hopes of inspiring self-confidence.
Winter never comes.
Homeland - Turns out that there isn't a mole in the CIA. The wire tap misread the fact that Saul is experimenting with Mexican cuisine and is preparing a mole sauce. Everyone has a big laugh about it and decides to grow thick beards as a sign of solidarity.
Abu Nazir's network releases a new video, admitting that Brody didn't blow up the CIA. But it's too late! Brody has already run off to Canada. Carrie starts to flash serious "Where the fuck is my lithium?!?" eyes. But there's a knock on the door! It's Brody...'s twin brother! He and Carrie hook up and start a new life together. And since they have the same last name, they keep calling him Brody like nothing ever happened.
Now directing her obnoxious angst at her uncle/father, Brody's daughter carjacks another SUV and dies, because even Julian Fellowes knows what a bitch that character is.
Months later, terrorists attempt to smuggle a bomb across the Canadian border. But they are stopped by Brody, now a perpetually scowling member of the mounted police.
The Walking Dead - Rick and crew are surrounded on all sides. Zombies on the left. The Governor on the right. Huge cliffhanger! Facing their inevitable demise, a feverish Rick starts to sing a song from his childhood... And the Governor joins in the harmony. Turns out that Rick and the Governor were friends at summer camp. The one-eyed despot changes his tune on the survivors and invites them to live in Woodbury. Will they be able to coexist in this new dramedy of manners? We never find out as AMC fires Fellowes and replaces him with a new showrunner.
Sons of Anarchy - The Shakespearean analogue switches over from Hamlet to The Taming of the Shrew. Jax wrestles control of SAMCRO away from Clay when they both call for their women and Tara responds before Gemma. Future gang violence is avoided when the producers decide to only cast white actors.
Mad Men - Caught embezzling, Lane Pryce decides to end it all by hanging himself in his office. But just as he hops off the chair, Don swings the door open, snapping the coat hook. Draper brings the news that the US government has ruled that cigarettes don't cause cancer and, in fact, cure cirrhosis. Lucky Strike can start advertising on television again and the firm is saved! They all have a jolly good laugh about it at the Christmas party where, instead of a piñata, the agency smacks around Pete Campbell.
Joan, the last woman on earth with whom Don hasn't slept, sidles over to the former Dick Whitman. Does he sleep with her? Does he dare invoke the wrath of Roger? Don winks at the camera as we fade to black4.
The Newsroom - In an episode set on October 3, 2012, Will McAvoy struggles with a crisis of conscience. Even though his evil right wing bosses want him to report that Romney won the first debate, he just can't bring himself to do it.
Ultimately, Will disregards the producers, violently screaming at them about how yelling over your opponent and disregarding the moderator doesn't mean you win a debate. The higher ups are so impressed by his fire and moxie that they give him carte blanche to say whatever he wants on the air from here on out.
Meanwhile, none of the women in the office have any idea how to use group texting, their iPad minis, or the Nintendo Wii. Coldplay's "Fix You" plays us out.
Okay. This is practically the exact same show5, only Fellowes' banter would feature more superfluous vowels.
********
1. See: WAAAAALT!, Libby in the mental hospital, Widmore and Ben's arbitrary rules, the ring of ash around Jacob's cabin, Eloise Hawking's photograph with Desmond's priest mentor, why Faraday was crying when we first see him, was Allison Janney a Smoke Monster?, why does Miles have powers?, "The Pattern" on Fringe, and anything that happened to Sydney in seasons 3 and 4 of Alias.
2. And hell, while I'm ranting on unresolved TV plot points: President Palmer's skin eating virus, Landry Clarke killed a man, Furio leaving town before he can romance Carmela, House's Dr. Foreman has brain surgery, suffers amnesia, forgets his medical training...but the next episode he was fine, Chuck Cunningham, Mandy from The West Wing, Who was behind GTV?, and LANDRY KILLED A MAN.
3. When one deus ex machina begets another, it is called "Pulling a Lavinia."
4. Mad Men predates the Downton model of conflict resolution. Don's sleeping with every woman in New York? Puritan America decides to look the other way. Sal's gay? Write him off the show. Don's a Korean War deserter living under an assumed name? "Mr. Campbell, who cares?"
5. This is thanks to Sorkin's "Nothing bad will ever befall a Democrat" mandate (with the exception of Robert Guillaume's real life stroke on Sports Night).
At the first hint of conflict, characters will worry, demonstrably pace back and forth, make loud declarations about how there is no easy resolution to the problem. Barring an act of God, Downton will be doomed to financial ruin, scandal, a world war! There are no simple answers, and we cannot stress that point enough.
Just when it seems that Downton is about to get hit by a torrential downpour of change and death and ramifications that will forever alter the landscape...they find a shockingly simple, anti-climactic resolution and continue on. It's becoming the Entourage of the United Kingdom.
In the instances when Fellowes doesn't rely upon the deus ex machina to rescue his characters, he invokes the J.J. Abrams1/Eric Holder/Bobby Valentine/Sanitation Commissioner Homer Simpson strategy of "Just ignore the problem, and it will go away2."
For example:
- There's been a bombing in WWI and Cousin Matthew hasn't been heard from in days! False alarm! He's alive! Two episodes later, the armistice is signed.
- Cousin Matthew's fiancée catches him kissing Mary. Good thing that she dies of a broken heart before this love triangle can escalate.
- What? There's a faceless soldier who claims to be the rightful heir of Downton? Nope. Just a con man.
- My personal favorite: In season two, the show kills off a tall, bumbling, ginger servant who pined after a distant woman. The next year, they introduce another tall, bumbling, ginger servant and have him pine after yet another distant woman.
- Bates is in prison for killing his wife. Will this show turn into an Edwardian Shawshank? He might get strangled in the shower! Or even worse...stabbed! Well, after serving a few months, Bates gets released thanks to some ambiguous exculpatory evidence! Yay!
- Mrs. Hughes has cancer? Noooo! But thankfully early-20th century doctors can cure it with roots and berries and positive thinking.
- What's that? Downton is ruined due to Lord Grantham's gross financial incompetence? Thank goodness Cousin Matthew just inherited a large sum of money (from his dead fiancée, no less3). Huzzah, says I! Huzzah!
********
Breaking Bad - Season Three ends with Gale swearing to never, ever cook meth again. Walter and Jesse give him a suspicious once over...and then trust him wholeheartedly. They celebrate with some impromptu karaoke. A perpetually oblivious Hank joins the party, bringing over a case of his homebrew.
The Whites receive a letter from Gus, stating that he has moved away to Florida to open a new Pollos Hermanos franchise. And even though he swears brutal vengeance and that his new caliente sauce will be flavored with Walter Jr.'s blood, deep down they know that this is an empty threat.
Game of Thrones - With his head ready to be chopped, Eddard makes an impassioned plea to the kingdom. A single tear drops from Ser Ilyn's silent eyes as he decides to spare the Lord of Winterfell's life. Joffrey and Sansa are granted a quickie divorce and, since a trip to the Wall isn't enough punishment for a incestuous bastard, Joff will serve as an attack dummy for Arya and her Braavosi sword instructor (who survived the attack thanks to his previously unknown shapeshifting ability).
With a huge power vacuum in the kingdom, both Stannis and Renly launch an all-out assault on King's Landing...and the Battle of Blackwater occurs off camera. With Renly seated on the Iron Throne, his relationship with Loras will be the driving conflict next season, and will be painfully dragged out for all 10 episodes.
In a stunning turn of events, the White Walkers are revealed to be the reanimated bodies of the massacred House Targaryen. This looks to start a powerful war...until Daenerys shows up with her dragons. They melt the icy terrain (again, off-camera), making it hospitable. Everyone agrees to stay in their own kingdom. "Why bother ruling all of Westeros when we can happily live in peace side by side?"
Ygritte is now civilized and decides to work as a chamber maid on the Wall. Jon Snow learns that his mother actually was Catelyn all along. Ned was just screwing with him in hopes of inspiring self-confidence.
Winter never comes.
Homeland - Turns out that there isn't a mole in the CIA. The wire tap misread the fact that Saul is experimenting with Mexican cuisine and is preparing a mole sauce. Everyone has a big laugh about it and decides to grow thick beards as a sign of solidarity.
Abu Nazir's network releases a new video, admitting that Brody didn't blow up the CIA. But it's too late! Brody has already run off to Canada. Carrie starts to flash serious "Where the fuck is my lithium?!?" eyes. But there's a knock on the door! It's Brody...'s twin brother! He and Carrie hook up and start a new life together. And since they have the same last name, they keep calling him Brody like nothing ever happened.
Now directing her obnoxious angst at her uncle/father, Brody's daughter carjacks another SUV and dies, because even Julian Fellowes knows what a bitch that character is.
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Months later, terrorists attempt to smuggle a bomb across the Canadian border. But they are stopped by Brody, now a perpetually scowling member of the mounted police.
The Walking Dead - Rick and crew are surrounded on all sides. Zombies on the left. The Governor on the right. Huge cliffhanger! Facing their inevitable demise, a feverish Rick starts to sing a song from his childhood... And the Governor joins in the harmony. Turns out that Rick and the Governor were friends at summer camp. The one-eyed despot changes his tune on the survivors and invites them to live in Woodbury. Will they be able to coexist in this new dramedy of manners? We never find out as AMC fires Fellowes and replaces him with a new showrunner.
Sons of Anarchy - The Shakespearean analogue switches over from Hamlet to The Taming of the Shrew. Jax wrestles control of SAMCRO away from Clay when they both call for their women and Tara responds before Gemma. Future gang violence is avoided when the producers decide to only cast white actors.
Mad Men - Caught embezzling, Lane Pryce decides to end it all by hanging himself in his office. But just as he hops off the chair, Don swings the door open, snapping the coat hook. Draper brings the news that the US government has ruled that cigarettes don't cause cancer and, in fact, cure cirrhosis. Lucky Strike can start advertising on television again and the firm is saved! They all have a jolly good laugh about it at the Christmas party where, instead of a piñata, the agency smacks around Pete Campbell.
Joan, the last woman on earth with whom Don hasn't slept, sidles over to the former Dick Whitman. Does he sleep with her? Does he dare invoke the wrath of Roger? Don winks at the camera as we fade to black4.
The Newsroom - In an episode set on October 3, 2012, Will McAvoy struggles with a crisis of conscience. Even though his evil right wing bosses want him to report that Romney won the first debate, he just can't bring himself to do it.
Ultimately, Will disregards the producers, violently screaming at them about how yelling over your opponent and disregarding the moderator doesn't mean you win a debate. The higher ups are so impressed by his fire and moxie that they give him carte blanche to say whatever he wants on the air from here on out.
Meanwhile, none of the women in the office have any idea how to use group texting, their iPad minis, or the Nintendo Wii. Coldplay's "Fix You" plays us out.
Okay. This is practically the exact same show5, only Fellowes' banter would feature more superfluous vowels.
********
1. See: WAAAAALT!, Libby in the mental hospital, Widmore and Ben's arbitrary rules, the ring of ash around Jacob's cabin, Eloise Hawking's photograph with Desmond's priest mentor, why Faraday was crying when we first see him, was Allison Janney a Smoke Monster?, why does Miles have powers?, "The Pattern" on Fringe, and anything that happened to Sydney in seasons 3 and 4 of Alias.
2. And hell, while I'm ranting on unresolved TV plot points: President Palmer's skin eating virus, Landry Clarke killed a man, Furio leaving town before he can romance Carmela, House's Dr. Foreman has brain surgery, suffers amnesia, forgets his medical training...but the next episode he was fine, Chuck Cunningham, Mandy from The West Wing, Who was behind GTV?, and LANDRY KILLED A MAN.
3. When one deus ex machina begets another, it is called "Pulling a Lavinia."
4. Mad Men predates the Downton model of conflict resolution. Don's sleeping with every woman in New York? Puritan America decides to look the other way. Sal's gay? Write him off the show. Don's a Korean War deserter living under an assumed name? "Mr. Campbell, who cares?"
5. This is thanks to Sorkin's "Nothing bad will ever befall a Democrat" mandate (with the exception of Robert Guillaume's real life stroke on Sports Night).
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