Skip to main content

It was the heat of the moment....

Last night at dinner, a lively discussion arose about the top three presidents of all time. It's one of those debates that probably only happens on the CMC campus, y'know, with all of those Govt. majors who delusionally think that they're going to go into politics. Anyway, after this fine oratorical commentary, I decided to write a little bit about my own list of the TOP 5 PRESIDENTS OF ALL TIME. This may sound eerily close to the "Top 5" lists that John Cusack kept making in High Fidelity. Actually, that's pretty much what it is. I have seen the movie/read the book so often that I consider myself to be akin to that character. My life may end up being a rip-off of that movie/book. Which really, when you think about it, isn't that bad. Your life could be an homage to "St. Elmo's Fire."
#1. Abe Lincoln


Why is Honest Abe number one on this countdown?....or is a countup since I started with #1? Well, a lot of people would reference that whole "emancipation proclamation" thing and that "13th ammendment" whatnot. Sure, that doesn't count against him. But what I love about Abe Lincoln is that he was 100% man. He knew how to box. He was the tallest president (and that's pretty impressive). If you decided to take him on in a fight, you'd lose. You'd have a snowball's chance in hell. You'd have a democrat's chance in Texas.
And Lincoln used that strategy when giving the proverbial "Fuck you" to the South. What's that? You've got a cotton gin? You believe in state's rights? You started the bloody Kansas-Nebraska act which violated the Missouri Compromise? Eli Whitney is your god down there? IT DIDN'T MATTER TO LINCOLN. He had so little respect for the Confederacy that he selected a complete drunkard as his general.
And for that reason, he's #1.

#2. Josiah Barlet
Could any other president walk and banter at the same time like Jed Bartlet? Exactly.


I would continue with this blog entry and talk about Ronald Reagan, Andrew Jackson and Bill Pullman in 'Independence Day.' But in the process of typing, I discovered that former WWE champion Eddie Guerrero has passed away. Yep. That is all.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I hope you don't really think that Andrew Jackson is the best president ever. He is clearly far inferior to Taft (the only president ever to get stuck in a bathtub).

Popular posts from this blog

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you?  Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married.  Buy a house.  Start a family.  This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that?  You’re not doing it for the money?  Just for “the exposure?”  That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent.  Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie,  That wasn't meant as an insult.  I'm sorry you took it that way.  Can...

Kickstarter Project Update #37 - Our 3D printed water bottles and our co-founder are being held hostage by pirates

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA.   Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline.   The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing.   There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup.   Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry.   Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars...