Skip to main content

It was the heat of the moment....

Last night at dinner, a lively discussion arose about the top three presidents of all time. It's one of those debates that probably only happens on the CMC campus, y'know, with all of those Govt. majors who delusionally think that they're going to go into politics. Anyway, after this fine oratorical commentary, I decided to write a little bit about my own list of the TOP 5 PRESIDENTS OF ALL TIME. This may sound eerily close to the "Top 5" lists that John Cusack kept making in High Fidelity. Actually, that's pretty much what it is. I have seen the movie/read the book so often that I consider myself to be akin to that character. My life may end up being a rip-off of that movie/book. Which really, when you think about it, isn't that bad. Your life could be an homage to "St. Elmo's Fire."
#1. Abe Lincoln


Why is Honest Abe number one on this countdown?....or is a countup since I started with #1? Well, a lot of people would reference that whole "emancipation proclamation" thing and that "13th ammendment" whatnot. Sure, that doesn't count against him. But what I love about Abe Lincoln is that he was 100% man. He knew how to box. He was the tallest president (and that's pretty impressive). If you decided to take him on in a fight, you'd lose. You'd have a snowball's chance in hell. You'd have a democrat's chance in Texas.
And Lincoln used that strategy when giving the proverbial "Fuck you" to the South. What's that? You've got a cotton gin? You believe in state's rights? You started the bloody Kansas-Nebraska act which violated the Missouri Compromise? Eli Whitney is your god down there? IT DIDN'T MATTER TO LINCOLN. He had so little respect for the Confederacy that he selected a complete drunkard as his general.
And for that reason, he's #1.

#2. Josiah Barlet
Could any other president walk and banter at the same time like Jed Bartlet? Exactly.


I would continue with this blog entry and talk about Ronald Reagan, Andrew Jackson and Bill Pullman in 'Independence Day.' But in the process of typing, I discovered that former WWE champion Eddie Guerrero has passed away. Yep. That is all.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I hope you don't really think that Andrew Jackson is the best president ever. He is clearly far inferior to Taft (the only president ever to get stuck in a bathtub).

Popular posts from this blog

8 October 2007 - These All-Blacks sit in the front of the bus

Well the Niners are now 2-3 after dropping a close game (that they never should have be in to begin with) to the Ravens. Normally I'd make some kind of petty excuse about how the team isn't even trying, or the fact that they're still 2-1 against the NFC West, or that in some other parallel world in the multiverse they're 5-0. But not today. Week 5 is different, since both Alex Smith and Vernon Davis are out with injuries. Vernon sprained his knee and Smith is down with a grade 3 shoulder separation. I'm not proud to admit this, but for the first time since Edgar Stiles choked on nerve gas, I cried. I cried like a big, dumb homo. And even though I can't watch the NFL or the World Series (since MLB.tv costs far too much for international clients), I had adopted the New Zealand All-Blacks as my surrogate sports team. And if you haven't seen the haka , click that link immediately 2007 is the year of the Rugby World Cup, and as opposed to the soccer world ...

Lewis and Clark were fine on their own

You know what else really grinds my gears? I went to the post office to ship off the last load of Christmas whatnot. Priority mail had better be worth it. My total comes to $21.65. I pay with a twenty and a ten. Instead of simply getting back exactly change, the woman at the front desk stiffs me three bucks. I point out her statistical mistake and she stares at me as though I just ordered a salad in a steakhouse and says "No. The change is correct. Look!" So I look at my palm and in addition tot he 35 cents are three strange coins. Son of a bitch. She gave me Sacagawea dollars. Son of a bitch. I hate the US Postal Service! Seriously, folk. Who the fuck uses these golden atrocities? They look like quarters, but they're not. Vending machines get confused when you use them (thinking that they're quarters). And they're so damn rare that you can never bring yourself to spend them. When you do decide to use them at a store, the clerk will stare at you for ...

24 September 2007 - The One Where Max Curses the Ayatollah

I've been reading up on the Middle east recently. It all started when I watched "Syriana" and was thoroughly confused. Although, watching George Clooney get tortured gave me the same sort of orgasmic bliss that I get from watching Kirk Gibson hobble around second base. Before I started studying, Ayatollah Khomeini was just that guy on the t-shirt that Homer refused to sell at his yard sale. So I have resolved to take as many Gov't classes when I get back to CMC. I'm prepared to ditch my ignorance about that giant bed of sand that happens to be floating on a sea of oil. But in my honest opinion, the greatest victim in the ongoing war between Islam and freedom has to be Yusef Islam, the artist formerly known to the world as Cat Stevens. In 1978, Cat Stevens converted to Islam and left the pop scene to focus on education and philthropy. In 1989, he called for Salman Rushdie's head on a platter, insisting He must be killed. The Koran makes it clear - if som...