Nothing lasts forever, even cold November Rain

I'd like to give a huge shout out to two very underutilized and underappreciated individuals of the world. There were many people who crossed my mind when I considered "underappreciated." The butler from The Fresh Prince. John Irving. Joe Randa. Myself. William McKinley. But I finally decided on the two individuals who would most benefit from being mentioned on my blog.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about none other than Hawkman and Count Chocula.

Hawkman
When people think about the Justice League, Carter Hall, aka "the winged wonder," is oftentimes forgotten. I could ramble on for a while about his history and continuity in DC comics, but I'll spare you. Rather, I'll just say that he has wings, carries a mace and has a hairy chest that just screams "VIRILE." Many children grow up wanting to be Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman or (god forbid) Iron Man. Hawkman never gets any respect. When was the last time you were really afraid of a bat? A hawk, on the other hand, is a predator. Long story short, Hawkman could beat down Bruce Wayne in a fight.

Count Chocula

Yeah, the old Count doesn't get enough street cred. Sure, he's a blood sucking vampire (or as I like to refer to them, Democrats). But he's a blood sucking vampire who cares about the children. The starving children of the world. He cares so much that he's willing to give them a new breakfast cereal full of chocolately goodness...which is still part of your balanced breakfast. Were giant supplies of Count Chocula dropped over poor areas of Africa, the Count would be in charge of Live-Aid instead of Bono. Hell, Count Chocula would be the frontman for U2.

Also, del Taco on tuesday nights is truly the happiest place on earth. Long Live Del Scorcho!

Day 4, and I'm one day closer to my hunger strike. David, to paraphrase Puffy - update or die.

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8 October 2007 - These All-Blacks sit in the front of the bus

Well the Niners are now 2-3 after dropping a close game (that they never should have be in to begin with) to the Ravens. Normally I'd make some kind of petty excuse about how the team isn't even trying, or the fact that they're still 2-1 against the NFC West, or that in some other parallel world in the multiverse they're 5-0. But not today. Week 5 is different, since both Alex Smith and Vernon Davis are out with injuries. Vernon sprained his knee and Smith is down with a grade 3 shoulder separation. I'm not proud to admit this, but for the first time since Edgar Stiles choked on nerve gas, I cried. I cried like a big, dumb homo. And even though I can't watch the NFL or the World Series (since MLB.tv costs far too much for international clients), I had adopted the New Zealand All-Blacks as my surrogate sports team. And if you haven't seen the haka , click that link immediately 2007 is the year of the Rugby World Cup, and as opposed to the soccer world ...

Lewis and Clark were fine on their own

You know what else really grinds my gears? I went to the post office to ship off the last load of Christmas whatnot. Priority mail had better be worth it. My total comes to $21.65. I pay with a twenty and a ten. Instead of simply getting back exactly change, the woman at the front desk stiffs me three bucks. I point out her statistical mistake and she stares at me as though I just ordered a salad in a steakhouse and says "No. The change is correct. Look!" So I look at my palm and in addition tot he 35 cents are three strange coins. Son of a bitch. She gave me Sacagawea dollars. Son of a bitch. I hate the US Postal Service! Seriously, folk. Who the fuck uses these golden atrocities? They look like quarters, but they're not. Vending machines get confused when you use them (thinking that they're quarters). And they're so damn rare that you can never bring yourself to spend them. When you do decide to use them at a store, the clerk will stare at you for ...

24 September 2007 - The One Where Max Curses the Ayatollah

I've been reading up on the Middle east recently. It all started when I watched "Syriana" and was thoroughly confused. Although, watching George Clooney get tortured gave me the same sort of orgasmic bliss that I get from watching Kirk Gibson hobble around second base. Before I started studying, Ayatollah Khomeini was just that guy on the t-shirt that Homer refused to sell at his yard sale. So I have resolved to take as many Gov't classes when I get back to CMC. I'm prepared to ditch my ignorance about that giant bed of sand that happens to be floating on a sea of oil. But in my honest opinion, the greatest victim in the ongoing war between Islam and freedom has to be Yusef Islam, the artist formerly known to the world as Cat Stevens. In 1978, Cat Stevens converted to Islam and left the pop scene to focus on education and philthropy. In 1989, he called for Salman Rushdie's head on a platter, insisting He must be killed. The Koran makes it clear - if som...

Max-stravaganza

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