Know what the best part of being home is? No, it's not the food. Actually, for my first night back we just ordered Chinese and watched Young Frankenstein. God have I missed City Wok's sesame beef and string beans. A little taste of heaven is what that is...that's assuming that the angel chefs still cook with MSG. But that may be just #5 in my list of best things about maX-mas break. (Sidebar: that's right, MaX-mas. Some red staters may call that sacreligious, but they're just jealous that I have the letter X in my first name. If their names were more compliant with this awesome holiday moniker, they'd redact their complaints.)
(Sidebar sub 2: Some may be wondering why, in fact, I am not writing this blog entry in the form of a countdown. Well, in recent weeks, Men's Health magazine has warned me against being "too John Cusack." In this holiday season, a lot of religious asian types have told me to ask WWJCD. I took this to mean: make as many mix tapes as possible and stand outside girls' windows with boom box and Peter Gabriel in hand. But Men's Health has also taught me how to boost my bench in 3 weeks, how to master the tricky art of bathtub sex, and that the "fake bumping into her" move doesn't work at parties. So far, they're 3 for 3 and only a triple away from the cycle (*nudge nudge*), so I'll take their advice again. Apparently the "down in the dumps, good vocabulary, rapid fire wit"-thing doesn't work as well as "Must Love Dogs" woud have us believe, so in order to distance myself from Lloyd Dobler, I'll be staying away from the whole "top five albums to play after your favorite uncle dies" tract).
The best part about being home isn't the spare time, either. Face it: college students have more free time on their hands than an Amish electrician or Mel Kiper Jr. The only difference now is that I'm being lazy at home and in a room with a lower Rolling Rock to square footage ratio.
Nope, the thing that I'm relishing right now is that every time I'm on iTunes and hit command+Q, I'm not accosted by that annoying pop up window that says "One or more users are currently connected to your library. Are you sure you want to quit?" Whenever that box would appear on my screen, I'd feel guilty about quitting, since I'd be depriving one or more poor souls of my great taste in music (where else on the CMC network will you find Brooks and Dunn, Whitesnake and David Gray? That's one stop shopping for your ears, people). Now I can sleep with a clean conscience knowing that I won't be shutting down when someone is 90% done with a download (which, come to think of it, is the myTunes equivalent of pulling out as soon as she screams "Yes! Right there!"). And by being able to shut off my laptop, I'm conserving energy and delaying the arrival of Global Warming. And there's nothing funny about Global Warming. Man Law?
And we only have one more week of shopping for Christfest '06. In case anyone needs any good last minute gift ideas for me, you can't go wrong with sweat pants, creatine or anything autographed by Tony Danza.
(Sidebar sub 2: Some may be wondering why, in fact, I am not writing this blog entry in the form of a countdown. Well, in recent weeks, Men's Health magazine has warned me against being "too John Cusack." In this holiday season, a lot of religious asian types have told me to ask WWJCD. I took this to mean: make as many mix tapes as possible and stand outside girls' windows with boom box and Peter Gabriel in hand. But Men's Health has also taught me how to boost my bench in 3 weeks, how to master the tricky art of bathtub sex, and that the "fake bumping into her" move doesn't work at parties. So far, they're 3 for 3 and only a triple away from the cycle (*nudge nudge*), so I'll take their advice again. Apparently the "down in the dumps, good vocabulary, rapid fire wit"-thing doesn't work as well as "Must Love Dogs" woud have us believe, so in order to distance myself from Lloyd Dobler, I'll be staying away from the whole "top five albums to play after your favorite uncle dies" tract).
The best part about being home isn't the spare time, either. Face it: college students have more free time on their hands than an Amish electrician or Mel Kiper Jr. The only difference now is that I'm being lazy at home and in a room with a lower Rolling Rock to square footage ratio.
Nope, the thing that I'm relishing right now is that every time I'm on iTunes and hit command+Q, I'm not accosted by that annoying pop up window that says "One or more users are currently connected to your library. Are you sure you want to quit?" Whenever that box would appear on my screen, I'd feel guilty about quitting, since I'd be depriving one or more poor souls of my great taste in music (where else on the CMC network will you find Brooks and Dunn, Whitesnake and David Gray? That's one stop shopping for your ears, people). Now I can sleep with a clean conscience knowing that I won't be shutting down when someone is 90% done with a download (which, come to think of it, is the myTunes equivalent of pulling out as soon as she screams "Yes! Right there!"). And by being able to shut off my laptop, I'm conserving energy and delaying the arrival of Global Warming. And there's nothing funny about Global Warming. Man Law?
And we only have one more week of shopping for Christfest '06. In case anyone needs any good last minute gift ideas for me, you can't go wrong with sweat pants, creatine or anything autographed by Tony Danza.
Comments