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18 August 2007 - There Can Only Be One

I think there's a woodpecker loose in the dorms. Either that, or the girl who lives next door has a new boyfriend. Whatever the cause, I keep hearing "thud thud thud" when I go to bed.


I've found that a lot of people in my dorm have the name "Max." I suppose that twenty some odd years ago, a whole bunch of mothers independently thought that "Max" would be a kick-ass name. Either that, or the people who write baby naming books decided to play a trick on everyone, since it's also the most popular name for dogs in the USA.

It's a good, solid name. Short and to the point. And unlike other tough, monosyllabic names like Bruce and Lance, the gay community hasn't corrupted "Max." The name is part of a brotherhood with such prestigious members as Planck, Factor, Hodge, Schmeling, and Payne. And if used correctly, it can get you into exclusive parties at Ed Begley Jr's house.

But if people are going to start differentiating us by using adjectives (e.g. "Cool Max," "Blonde Max," "Fat Max," "Girl Max")*, I'm going to have to find a new nickname. Some may think that I'm waving the white flag, surrendering my god given name. Rather, I see it as an opportunity. I know a few people who gave themselves a new nickname before going abroad. As long as you're in a foreign country, you might as well embrace change.
So this is my chance to adopt a new nickname for myself. I like Maximus well enough, but there's always room for personal growth. What follows is a preliminary list of names that I'm considering. Feel free to let me know which ones ring true.

1) Ace
2) The Commodore
3) Tony Stark
4) T-Bone
5) Reginald von Hoogstratten
6) Black Pete
7) Liquid Cool
8) Thunder Dan
9) Chevy - 'Cause I'm like a rock.
10) Ford - Because quality is job #1.
and finally,
11) White Power Bill

Damnit. I totally should have told everyone that my nickname was "Ace" when I got here. But now it's too late, and I doubt that CMC will accept me as an "Ace" when I return in January. So I guess this means that I'll have to wait until I get a job to rechristen myself.
That is, unless, any of you would feel comfortable calling me "Ace?" It could be fun! Come on! Come on! No? Fine. I'll start waiting until I join the labor force.

-MGD

*And I promise you, I'm not Girl Max.

That's what she said of the day:
(Re: an art history exam)
I think it'll be a lot harder than the textbook makes it look.

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