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20 August 2007 - The Classes

That whole "Study" part of the study abroad experience gets overlooked like the ugly friend at a bachelorette party. I'm taking four classes right now, none of which really match up to what CMC would offer. And for the past few weeks I haven't given that much thought to them...except now I've got three projects due next week. So you know what that means: procrastinate with the blog.

First off, we've got the Language of Film.
This is one of the largest classes that the university offers...since there are tons of incoming students who have been deluded into believing that they're going to be the next Peter Jackson and win multiple Oscars. I'd make fun of them more if I weren't one of them myself.
There are about 350 students in this lecture hall and there are three different rotating lecturers. The first is a skinny American woman, whose only credential (it seems) is that she's American. She gives you your bare bones, definition lectures about "This is a dolly shot" or "The first feature film released was D.W. Griffith's..."
The second professor is...well...how do I put this nicely? If Dos Equis found the Most Interesting Man in the World, then this woman is his Bizarro opposite. Half of her talks are apologies for not knowing how to use PowerPoint or a DVD player. And when she does talk, it's word-for-word off of the projected notes.
The third prof is pretty damn interesting. Well spoken, good points, good demeanor. But of course there's a problem.
Last week during the lecture, he went on about how he's positive that Tom Cruise is gay. He insisted that Tom's got an entire armada of lawyers getting rid of any attempts to get him out of the closet.
I have never been so tempted to walk out of a class since Bob Faggen went on a 15 rant about how I should never use the phrase "incredibly unique." (I'm pretty sure that this is yet another reference that Noah will get and Fawkes won't).
Despite his blasphemy, I think that I can continue on with this class. After seeing that Eric Murphy can make it as a Hollywood Producer, I'm more motivated to do something, and this course is giving me the basic knowledge to do so. What does this mean for the masses? I'm one step closer to having my own Entourage. I've already got my own Ari, E and Lloyd, so if you think that you'd make a good Drama (over-inflated ego) or Turtle (lazy XBox addict), send your resume and cover sheet to mdavison09@cmc.edu.

Art History - Renaissance
This class is boring the hell out of me. Renaissance art is meant to be appreciated, not studied. It's a subject more suited for discussion by women as they come and go.
The course could easily go as follows:
"Here's a Da Vinci."
"Ooooooh."
*Change slide*
"This was painted by Giotto."
"Ooooooh."
*Change slide*
But what makes it interesting is the prof. It's taught by an American woman who, by her accent, grew up in the south. But she then presumably studied for a while in Italy, since she has that horrible Giada De Laurentiis affected manner of over pronouncing any Italian name. Sadly, without the Giada De Laurentiis boob job that just screams "Put me in Maxim."
But I can forgive her. She studied Art History in college. And we know that art history is a major that should be renamed "I Really Hope I Marry Wealthy."

Art History - Impressionism
Absolutely loving this one. We have two rotating lecturers. The first is a short New Zealand woman who despite her no-nonsense, bastard coated bastard exterior has a soft, funny nougaty center. And she's managed to teach me the difference between Manet and Monet. Next step: Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton.
The other prof has the Art history trifecta going for him: 1) Knowledgable 2) Old 3) Flamingly Gay. If you had to pick an ideal art history professor, this is your guy.

Tragedy in the Age of Shakespeare
Appropriately enough, I've got a British prof with a deep voice that was made for the Shakespearean stage. He resembles Derek Jacobi a good deal, but I don't think that means much to anyone. While I like the subject matter, the class seems to be moving at a remedial pace. Two weeks ago we spent an entire hour on "What is iambic pentameter?" And I never thought I'd say this, but Prof. Tobias Gregory taught the lecture better.

John Lennon said that life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Well, for me just replace with word "life" with "class." While I'm not in New Zealand specifically for the University of Auckland, it's not a bad place to spend a few hours a week.


Oh, and before I get any crap about this, I slept through my fantasy football draft today. It was scheduled for 8:30am my time, and somehow or another my alarm got turned off and I woke up at 10. No worries. All that means is that I drafted 6 running backs and 7 wide receivers. Depth, baby. I've got depth. And a lot of trade bait, so let's talk.


-MGD


That's what she said of the day:
(While skiing)
Does this poll look too long to you?

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