Skip to main content

18 September 2007 - The one where San Fran is in first place

As opposed to ending with, I'm going to start this entry with my Vernon Davis fun fact.
Vernon Davis has such an imposing presence that he can only score 2 fantasy points in two weeks and still lead his team to back to back victories.


That's right everybody. The Niners are 2-0. People said that it would be a cold day in hell before this would happen. Well, it looks like serial killers and unwed mothers are enjoying some fun winter weather down there.
Even more impressive is how horrible Alex Smith and crew have looked...YET THEY STILL WIN. The 49ers are the NFL's version of that kid in high school who studied at the last minute and pulled off B's without ever working that hard. And what would that kid always say? "Imagine if I actually put a little effort into my work. I'd be getting straight A's!"
Well, that's the strategy that Mike Nolan is adopting this season: Get by doing the least possible amount of work. But as all procrastinators know, there's going to come a point where your mom gives you the talk about starting your papers early and insisting that if you don't put in a little effort than your life is going to be pointless, meaningless and spent living in an apartment above a bowling alley and below another with an LSD-addicted room mate who claims to be John Stamos' long lost brother.
Come on, I can't be the only one who had that talk, right?
Anyhoo, I have a feeling that Week 3 is when the Niners get this talk from their team mom (maybe there's a Chunky Soup commercial in this) and show up in the first half. Go Niners. Go America.

-MGD

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kickstarter Project Update #37 - Our 3D printed water bottles and our co-founder are being held hostage by pirates

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA.   Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline.   The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing.   There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup.   Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry.   Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars...

David Foster Wallace Writes CVS Receipts

CVS PHARMACY - Transaction #3187420 CVS Nasal Decongestant 1  - $17.89 Starbucks 2  Doubleshot Vanilla - $2.77 Gillette shaving cream - $7.99 3 2x Right Guard deodorant 4   - $5.49 Advil 60 ct 5 - $4.69 Neutrogena facial cleanser 6 - $5.99 Total: $44.82 Cash 7 transaction - Paid $50.00 Change: $5.18 Trip summary - Today you saved: 18% Thank you 8 ! ********** 1. Allergies had been a constant issue for Hal ever since a family trip to Puget Sound twenty years ago prompted his esophagus to close up.   Ear, nose and throat issues had always plagued his family, with the exception of his sister Brenda, the golden child who never suffered agonizing sneezing fits; she of the preternaturally infectious energy normally reserved for golden retriever puppies or Roger Federer in the fifth set at Wimbledon. Hal’s deviated septum led to chronic sinusitis and a perpetual need for antihistamines.   Today he was opting for the store br...

1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...