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25 September 2007 - The one where Max pretends he's Ray Charles

The view out of my dorm room isn't that spectacular. Actually, it looks out at another building. So when I wake up in the morning, I have no clue what the weather's going to be like.
I had resolved that today would be the maiden voyage of my new, trendy Ray Bans. What's the point in spending the money if no one sees them on you?
And when you look as good as I do in them...

Of course you've got to flaunt them. As the poet said: You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.

So I walked out into Auckland looking studly as ever. It's September, so I just assumed that there'd be sun outside. But we all know what happens when you assume: You look like a total asshole.
So I walk outside to a slight drizzle. No problem. I just put up my hood (and looked a little bit like the unabomber). But then it started to pour. I took out my umbrella (ella...ella...eh), but I refused to take off my polarized lenses. I had come too far to let peer pressure set in.
I'm sure that everyone thought that I was either incredibly vain, a big Roy Orbison fan or just extremely hung over. Seeing as it was a Tuesday morning, all three seemed like logical assumptions. But no matter what they thought, I had won. Why? Because they were looking at me. Even if they at first thought "Hey, look at that idiot!" I'm sure that by the end they were thinking, "Damn! Check out that idiot in those sweet stunner shades!" Mission Accomplished. Ladies, form a line to my left for make outs. Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives.

So I'm signing off for now, and as always I remind you: If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

-MGD
Max Davison is a Junior at Claremont McKenna College. He is a double major in MIG combat and Beach Volleyball, and is currently writing his thesis on the sonnets of the Righteous Brothers. While at the academy, he has lost his qualifications as section leader three times, been put in hack twice, and has a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter.

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