Now, normally I don't like to push or solicit anything in my posts. Actually, that's a bold faced lie. If I had my way, everyone reading this would be sitting on their bean bag chairs in their Vernon Davis jerseys, watching Bowfinger and rocking out to the Marshall Tucker Band.
But that's all due to my witty, subliminal tactics. This time, I'm going to be a bit more superliminal in recommending which new Fall TV shows you should/shouldn't be watching.
SHOULD
1. Pushing Daisies, ABC, 8pm on Wednesdays. It's like if Amelie were a weekly TV show. Only instead of Audrey Tautou, it's about a pie baker who can bring people back from the dead with a single touch. But if he touches them again, they go back to being worm food. This becomes problematic when he accidentally resurrects his childhood love, played by Anna Friel. (Cue Max's sighing and Scrubs-like fantasy where they're living together in Maui).
Long story short, the show is quirky, it's shot just like a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film, and last episode featured Kristin Chenoweth singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You." WATCH THIS SHOW.
2. Reaper. Some time on the CW. Who cares, no one watches that network anyway.
The premise: On his 21st birthday, Sam (Bret Harrison, who played "Sam Sullivan" on the unfortunately cancelled "The Loop") discovers that his parents sold his soul to the devil, and he has to work as a satanic bounty hunter. I mean, what more do you need to know about this show? Oh, and Kevin Smith directed the pilot.
And it features Ray Wise as the Devil. You may know him as Leland Palmer on "Twin Peaks." Well, my age demographic never watched that show. So you probably recognize him as President Logan's potentially-but-not-really-fake-out-Logan-was-evil-all-along Vice President in Season 5 of 24. I mean, who better to play Satan than the man who spoiler alert killed Laura Palmer. Honestly, he's like Dr. Cox with a pitchfork.
3. Friday Night Lights. NBC, 9pm on Fridays. I know that this was on last season, but I highly doubt that anyone apart from the 3rd floor of Benson Hall actually watched it. But you've got Kyle Chandler in the lead role. But instead of getting tomorrow's newspaper today, he coaches a West Texas football team all the while his daughter is dating the backup QB (who got the starting role after the studly Jason Street gets paralyzed in the first game). Star running back Smash Williams got caught with steroids last season, and fullback Tim Riggins is an episode of "Maury" just waiting to happen. And in the season 2 premiere, the idiot 5th stringer Landry killed a man. Even though the show's demographic (High school football players/parents) are probably at actual high school football games while this airs, this doesn't mean that everyone else has to miss it.
4. Californication. Showtime, find it online or on On Demand. Fox Mulder plays a tormented LA writer trying to deal with his kinda ex-wife remarrying and the fact that he banged her soon-to-be step daughter...who's only 16. It's perverse, it's full of swearing and sex, but in the end you find yourself rooting for this sleaze bag to succeed and finally write something. If you're still having doubts, I should mention the supporting actor who plays a film director. I won't name him, but he'll stomp on your world like his name was Godzilla.
5. Damages. FX, not sure but there are only 3 shows on the whole network and they constantly rerun them.
You've got Glenn Close and Rose Byrne as cutthroat lawyers in an insider trading lawsuit against Ted Danson. Everyone is playing both sides and you can't trust anyone. Great show from minute one to minute 60. FX's Rescue Me is being sucked into the black hole that his Denis Leary's ego, but "Damages" remains untouched. Mainly since Ted Danson just wants to remain anonymous.
And an honorable mention goes to "Gossip Girl," just because if the show is successful enough, Maxim will probably run a "girls of Gossip Girl" issue, so everybody wins.
Stay away from like the plague...or a new Steve Martin family comedy
1. Private Practice, ABC, Wednesday 9pm. As enumerated here before, if this show were a fetus, I would vote for a woman's right to choose. Here's the show in a nutshel: "I'm an intelligent yet sexy big city surgeon who wants to find herself. What's that, Joe Hackett? You want to go out? I'm going to play hard to get while Taye Diggs finds new excuses to take his shirt off. I really wish McDreamy would make a guest appearance... Oh well. I'm just going to finish up this episode with a monologue that's eerily reminiscent of Sylvia Plath."
Gag. Barf. Hurl. Cut myself. NEXT.
2. Chuck, NBC, 8pm on Monday. Actually, I like "Chuck." The characters are fun, the female lead is a knockout, Adam Baldwin's appearance on network TV still gives me hope that Firefly will come back, and did I mention Yvonne Strzechowski? Hard to pronounce, but it's worth the effort. (Cue Scrubs flashback where she and Max raise their two kids, Montana and Rice). So why shouldn't you tune in to NBC before Heroes? Because the plot is far too similar to a screenplay I'm writing ('Stud McGrew: Ninja Hunter' for the uninformed), so if "Chuck" lasts for more than two years, odds are that my originality will suffer.
3. Journeyman, NBC, 9pm on Fridays. It's Quantum Leap meets Early Edition starring that guy from "Rome." 'Nuff said. I give it three weeks.
4. The Big Bang Theory, CBS Mondays, some time after Neil Patrick Harris but before Charlie Sheen.
It's about four geek rocket scientists who can't get laid. If I wanted to watch this on a weekly basis I'll just hang out at Harvey Mudd every Monday night.
and finally, 5) KID NATION. CBS Wednesdays, 8pm (taking over Jericho's spot. *shakes fist angrily*). Basically, it's like Survivor. Only without smarmy Jeff Probst. And instead of an island, it's set in a Western ghost town. And instead of attractive 20 somethings, we have CHILDREN. 40 kids, 8 to 15 years old. They're going to have to set up their own society, complete with a government, an economy, and Monkey Butlers.
Well, we know that little kids are capable of making sneakers for 3 cents an hour. But can they actually make their own civilization that isn't SimCity 2000? Unless all 40 of these kids are Walt Lloyd and can make polar bears magically appear, not gonna happen. (Sidebar: WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLTTTTTTTTT!!!!!)
And more importantly, didn't CBS learn anything from Lord of the Flies? The big kids are going to enslave the littluns and then hunt their enemies. Then they're just going to end up worshipping a pig as a god and then kill the fat kid and use his specs to start fire.
Sucks to your auntie, and sucks to this show.
This goes without saying, but you should always be catching My Name is Earl, The Office, Smallville, Weeds, Curb, South Park, How I Met Your Mother, House, Boston Legal, and WWE Monday Night Raw (Chris Jericho is coming back, people. That's more than enough to get you to watch).
-MGD
Max Davison is a Junior at Claremont McKenna College. One day he hopes to write for television and he's currently working on his first pilot. Titled "Under Gods," Zeus, Thor and Apollo decide to become mortals in order to meet women and they get an apartment together. Hilarity ensues. And if this doesn't work, there's always "Yin and Yang," which is essentially the Odd Couple but starring two Asian dudes.
But that's all due to my witty, subliminal tactics. This time, I'm going to be a bit more superliminal in recommending which new Fall TV shows you should/shouldn't be watching.
SHOULD
1. Pushing Daisies, ABC, 8pm on Wednesdays. It's like if Amelie were a weekly TV show. Only instead of Audrey Tautou, it's about a pie baker who can bring people back from the dead with a single touch. But if he touches them again, they go back to being worm food. This becomes problematic when he accidentally resurrects his childhood love, played by Anna Friel. (Cue Max's sighing and Scrubs-like fantasy where they're living together in Maui).
Long story short, the show is quirky, it's shot just like a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film, and last episode featured Kristin Chenoweth singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You." WATCH THIS SHOW.
2. Reaper. Some time on the CW. Who cares, no one watches that network anyway.
The premise: On his 21st birthday, Sam (Bret Harrison, who played "Sam Sullivan" on the unfortunately cancelled "The Loop") discovers that his parents sold his soul to the devil, and he has to work as a satanic bounty hunter. I mean, what more do you need to know about this show? Oh, and Kevin Smith directed the pilot.
And it features Ray Wise as the Devil. You may know him as Leland Palmer on "Twin Peaks." Well, my age demographic never watched that show. So you probably recognize him as President Logan's potentially-but-not-really-fake-out-Logan-was-evil-all-along Vice President in Season 5 of 24. I mean, who better to play Satan than the man who spoiler alert killed Laura Palmer. Honestly, he's like Dr. Cox with a pitchfork.
3. Friday Night Lights. NBC, 9pm on Fridays. I know that this was on last season, but I highly doubt that anyone apart from the 3rd floor of Benson Hall actually watched it. But you've got Kyle Chandler in the lead role. But instead of getting tomorrow's newspaper today, he coaches a West Texas football team all the while his daughter is dating the backup QB (who got the starting role after the studly Jason Street gets paralyzed in the first game). Star running back Smash Williams got caught with steroids last season, and fullback Tim Riggins is an episode of "Maury" just waiting to happen. And in the season 2 premiere, the idiot 5th stringer Landry killed a man. Even though the show's demographic (High school football players/parents) are probably at actual high school football games while this airs, this doesn't mean that everyone else has to miss it.
4. Californication. Showtime, find it online or on On Demand. Fox Mulder plays a tormented LA writer trying to deal with his kinda ex-wife remarrying and the fact that he banged her soon-to-be step daughter...who's only 16. It's perverse, it's full of swearing and sex, but in the end you find yourself rooting for this sleaze bag to succeed and finally write something. If you're still having doubts, I should mention the supporting actor who plays a film director. I won't name him, but he'll stomp on your world like his name was Godzilla.
5. Damages. FX, not sure but there are only 3 shows on the whole network and they constantly rerun them.
You've got Glenn Close and Rose Byrne as cutthroat lawyers in an insider trading lawsuit against Ted Danson. Everyone is playing both sides and you can't trust anyone. Great show from minute one to minute 60. FX's Rescue Me is being sucked into the black hole that his Denis Leary's ego, but "Damages" remains untouched. Mainly since Ted Danson just wants to remain anonymous.
And an honorable mention goes to "Gossip Girl," just because if the show is successful enough, Maxim will probably run a "girls of Gossip Girl" issue, so everybody wins.
Stay away from like the plague...or a new Steve Martin family comedy
1. Private Practice, ABC, Wednesday 9pm. As enumerated here before, if this show were a fetus, I would vote for a woman's right to choose. Here's the show in a nutshel: "I'm an intelligent yet sexy big city surgeon who wants to find herself. What's that, Joe Hackett? You want to go out? I'm going to play hard to get while Taye Diggs finds new excuses to take his shirt off. I really wish McDreamy would make a guest appearance... Oh well. I'm just going to finish up this episode with a monologue that's eerily reminiscent of Sylvia Plath."
Gag. Barf. Hurl. Cut myself. NEXT.
2. Chuck, NBC, 8pm on Monday. Actually, I like "Chuck." The characters are fun, the female lead is a knockout, Adam Baldwin's appearance on network TV still gives me hope that Firefly will come back, and did I mention Yvonne Strzechowski? Hard to pronounce, but it's worth the effort. (Cue Scrubs flashback where she and Max raise their two kids, Montana and Rice). So why shouldn't you tune in to NBC before Heroes? Because the plot is far too similar to a screenplay I'm writing ('Stud McGrew: Ninja Hunter' for the uninformed), so if "Chuck" lasts for more than two years, odds are that my originality will suffer.
3. Journeyman, NBC, 9pm on Fridays. It's Quantum Leap meets Early Edition starring that guy from "Rome." 'Nuff said. I give it three weeks.
4. The Big Bang Theory, CBS Mondays, some time after Neil Patrick Harris but before Charlie Sheen.
It's about four geek rocket scientists who can't get laid. If I wanted to watch this on a weekly basis I'll just hang out at Harvey Mudd every Monday night.
and finally, 5) KID NATION. CBS Wednesdays, 8pm (taking over Jericho's spot. *shakes fist angrily*). Basically, it's like Survivor. Only without smarmy Jeff Probst. And instead of an island, it's set in a Western ghost town. And instead of attractive 20 somethings, we have CHILDREN. 40 kids, 8 to 15 years old. They're going to have to set up their own society, complete with a government, an economy, and Monkey Butlers.
Well, we know that little kids are capable of making sneakers for 3 cents an hour. But can they actually make their own civilization that isn't SimCity 2000? Unless all 40 of these kids are Walt Lloyd and can make polar bears magically appear, not gonna happen. (Sidebar: WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLTTTTTTTTT!!!!!)
And more importantly, didn't CBS learn anything from Lord of the Flies? The big kids are going to enslave the littluns and then hunt their enemies. Then they're just going to end up worshipping a pig as a god and then kill the fat kid and use his specs to start fire.
Sucks to your auntie, and sucks to this show.
This goes without saying, but you should always be catching My Name is Earl, The Office, Smallville, Weeds, Curb, South Park, How I Met Your Mother, House, Boston Legal, and WWE Monday Night Raw (Chris Jericho is coming back, people. That's more than enough to get you to watch).
-MGD
Max Davison is a Junior at Claremont McKenna College. One day he hopes to write for television and he's currently working on his first pilot. Titled "Under Gods," Zeus, Thor and Apollo decide to become mortals in order to meet women and they get an apartment together. Hilarity ensues. And if this doesn't work, there's always "Yin and Yang," which is essentially the Odd Couple but starring two Asian dudes.
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