Skip to main content

17 October 2007 - All the little chicks with the crimson lips yell...

If all goes as it should (which a guy named Murphy says it won't), we're looking at a Cleveland/Colorado World Series. It's the sort of obscure matchup that makes baseball fans drool and conventional fans will shrug and ask "When does the NBA come back?"

But this is just another example of why John Q. Public has no idea what he's talk about and should be stricken of his first amendment rights. Why should they care about a 7 game set with Cleveland and Colorado?
1. The last time that the Cleveland Indians were this close to the series, Pedro Cerrano was whiffing at breaking pitches and Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn was having problems with his control.
2. Some are calling it RockToberfest, which has become my second favorite Toberfest, just behind Scotchtoberfest (although according to Armen Tanzarian, there's no such thing).
3. We're going to see at least two games played in Mile High Stadium. What does this mean? For those of you with no clue how elevation works, being 5280 feet above sea level acts like a corked bat. So unlike pitcher's parks (a.k.a. No Homers club) we're going to watch Matt Holiday sock a god-awful number of dingers.
4. CC Sabathia. Just say that name and try to be sad. And then remember that he's 6'7" and 275lbs. It's like if Santa were black and had a 97mph fastball.
5. The Rocks have won 20 of their last 21 games. I mean, that's a stat line reserved for the Harlem Globetrotters or Denny Crane.
6. The milky voice of Joe Buck.
7. The Schrutian idiocy of Tim McCarver.
8. As opposed to last year's disaster of a World Series, Jeff Weaver will be nowhere near the field of play.

And if those 6 reasons aren't enough, then you obviously aren't a baseball fan. Which subsequently means that you hate America. So you can take your pinko sympathies elsewhere and stop reading right now. Otherwise I'll send Rick Monday to beat some patriotism into you.



Meanwhile, on the "Heroes" front, I for one am sad to see Nathan Petrelli shave off his playoff beard. I think that he pulled off the Ted Kasinski/Rob Brind'Amour look pretty well.
Mad props to Monica for busting out Rey Mysterio Jr's 619.
Also, I was ready to call it quits after the writing staff killed off George Takei. But they've redeemed themselves by casting Lt. Uhura herself, Nichelle Nichols, in the role of Micah's grandmother. Just bring in Leonard Nimoy and Walter Koenig for cameos and the show will become absolutely Shat-rageous.

Keep on rocking in the free world, my droogs.
-MGD

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

The man who will NEVER Die

Apologies to everyone who's been bitching about me not updating my blog. Maybe this is indicative of how militant people without blogs are....until they decide to start one and get understandably lazy. Let me put it this way: the grass is not as easy to mow on the other side of the fence. And that was too awful of a metaphor for me to use. Moving on.... Recently, the New York Mets offered a two year deal to this man: Julio Franco I know what you're thinking. "Max, I really don't care about baseball to begin with. Why should a two year contract even interest me? By the way, Max, you're incredibly good looking and your bench press is SOOOOO impressive." Why should this deal excite you? Mr. Julio Franco, who has played first base for the Atlanta Braves over the past 5 seasons, is currently 47 years old. Yes. 47. As in the number after 46. When he fulfills his contractual obligations, he will be a 49 year old professional baseball player. Let me put it to you thi...

8 October 2007 - These All-Blacks sit in the front of the bus

Well the Niners are now 2-3 after dropping a close game (that they never should have be in to begin with) to the Ravens. Normally I'd make some kind of petty excuse about how the team isn't even trying, or the fact that they're still 2-1 against the NFC West, or that in some other parallel world in the multiverse they're 5-0. But not today. Week 5 is different, since both Alex Smith and Vernon Davis are out with injuries. Vernon sprained his knee and Smith is down with a grade 3 shoulder separation. I'm not proud to admit this, but for the first time since Edgar Stiles choked on nerve gas, I cried. I cried like a big, dumb homo. And even though I can't watch the NFL or the World Series (since MLB.tv costs far too much for international clients), I had adopted the New Zealand All-Blacks as my surrogate sports team. And if you haven't seen the haka , click that link immediately 2007 is the year of the Rugby World Cup, and as opposed to the soccer world ...