23 October 2007 - Yup. Getting drunk at the old flower shop

Today I cannot continue spilling my blueprints for future tycoonery, since I have been stricken by what can only be described as "Sexual Innuendo Overload" (Sidebar: In your endo).
The source of which is an online conversation with a friend of mine that occurred last night between the hours of 1am and 2am Auckland time.
The subject of said discourse is Ben's recent problem with his "ethernet cord," but we all know what that euphemism is.

BF: Well, earlier in the semester I was watching something in bed
MD: Cinemax?
BF: And I tried to pull the ethernet cord closer to me
BF: And I pulled the laptop and the ethernet cord came out
MD: No way!
BF: and it went all over the place
BF: And so now the little springy things that are supposed to hold them in came out
BF: And so it doesn’t stay in that well

Normally, I'm able to say "That's what she said" and move on with my erudite pursuits. But for the past 23 and a half hours, I can't stop giggling like Beavis and Butthead. I mean, when the innuendo concentration exceeds four per line, I shut down. I can't think, I can't walk straight and I can't contribute anything to society, just like Brad Lidge after getting rocked by Pujols in the NLCS.
This sort of sophomoric coma normally wears off after a day, so I'm going to be fine in the time it takes to watch the new Californication.

I'd give a Dave Barry/24 minute by minute recap of Heroes, except that it's impossible since I fast forwarded through most of it. While I'm loving the new black family on "Curb," I could care less about Monica, the fast food waitress with bad grammar who can mimic actions. Ali Larter isn't hot enough to care about. And if we've learned one thing from this week's episode, it's that Veronica Mars still can't act.
I'm also at that point where I'm positive as to the direction the show's taking and I have to wait another 5 weeks until Heroes catches up. Spoiler alert, I'm pretty sure that Hiro's hero Takezo Kensei is the one who's killing the George Takeis of the world. And the secret scroll that Ando found is probably going to reveal this knowledge...one minute too late.
You heard it here first.

And on the hair cut front, I still haven't made an appointment down here. But I figure that if I buy a headband and white shorts, I can pull off this look for Halloween:

Death to the infidels,
MGD

Comments

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads. These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate. You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination. Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

The man who will NEVER Die

Apologies to everyone who's been bitching about me not updating my blog. Maybe this is indicative of how militant people without blogs are....until they decide to start one and get understandably lazy. Let me put it this way: the grass is not as easy to mow on the other side of the fence. And that was too awful of a metaphor for me to use. Moving on.... Recently, the New York Mets offered a two year deal to this man: Julio Franco I know what you're thinking. "Max, I really don't care about baseball to begin with. Why should a two year contract even interest me? By the way, Max, you're incredibly good looking and your bench press is SOOOOO impressive." Why should this deal excite you? Mr. Julio Franco, who has played first base for the Atlanta Braves over the past 5 seasons, is currently 47 years old. Yes. 47. As in the number after 46. When he fulfills his contractual obligations, he will be a 49 year old professional baseball player. Let me put it to you thi...

8 October 2007 - These All-Blacks sit in the front of the bus

Well the Niners are now 2-3 after dropping a close game (that they never should have be in to begin with) to the Ravens. Normally I'd make some kind of petty excuse about how the team isn't even trying, or the fact that they're still 2-1 against the NFC West, or that in some other parallel world in the multiverse they're 5-0. But not today. Week 5 is different, since both Alex Smith and Vernon Davis are out with injuries. Vernon sprained his knee and Smith is down with a grade 3 shoulder separation. I'm not proud to admit this, but for the first time since Edgar Stiles choked on nerve gas, I cried. I cried like a big, dumb homo. And even though I can't watch the NFL or the World Series (since MLB.tv costs far too much for international clients), I had adopted the New Zealand All-Blacks as my surrogate sports team. And if you haven't seen the haka , click that link immediately 2007 is the year of the Rugby World Cup, and as opposed to the soccer world ...

Max-stravaganza

Search This Blog