Skip to main content

The Wedge Factor

If Michael Moore has taught me anything (*pause for laughter*), it's that we as a society need to start asking tough questions about our leaders and idols. We have to stop blindly accepting orders and free ourselves from the shackles of the dominant culture. Having said that:

What the hell has Wedge Antilles ever done to earn our faith and trust?

The Wedge Factor:

When an unimpressive supporting character receives a dedicated fan following for no reason; typically a character that receives so little screen time that the audience fills in the blanks with awesomeness.

It's a concept similar to the Worf Effect, but I think that the Wedge Factor is a bit deeper (sidebar: I was tempted to dub it the Illegal Wedge, but that was taken).

If you ask anyone about their favorite peripheral characters from Star Wars, Wedge Antilles will undoubtedly come up. IGN ranked him the 24th greatest Star Wars character of all time. He is a bold fighter pilot, a valiant solider and skilled in ACM (air combat maneuvers, or dogfighting). There is an overwhelming adoration of Wedge, quite possibly because audiences assume that he's more interesting than he lets on. He's one of those players who everyone keeps insisting is underrated, which eventually makes him overrated (see: Garret Anderson, Wes Welker, Aaron Eckhart).

But despite the acclaim and accolades, Wedge did absolutely nothing in the trilogy. He might as well have been an extra. And I'm not counting his role in the expanded universe book series or the classic N64 game, Rogue Squadron. As far as I'm concerned, that's just extra chapters that border on fan faction, like the unauthorized sequel to Catcher in the Rye or the Book of Mormon.

Let's look back at the extent of Mr. Antilles's contributions to the Rebel Alliance.

Episode IV: He saves Luke's life during the first Death Star attack. He shoots down a TIE fighter, allowing Luke to make his trench run. In this process, Wedge's ship gets damaged and he has to return to base. Now, I don't claim to be a pilot, naval aviator or starship commander, but even I know that you never leave your wingman. DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM TOP GUN, WEDGE? GOOOSE!!!

Wedge flies off like a Corellian bitch when even Luke admits that he can't do anymore good back there. And as Wedge flies off, the Imperial pilots have a clear shot...and Vader lets him go. Wedge even isn't worth the ammunition it takes to kill him.

And let's take a moment to think about his plan: Wedge is banged up, so he's going back to his base. The base that is going to be destroyed as soon as the Death Star is in range. Great move, Wedge. Abandon your squadron and take your chances on the flimsy fourth moon of Yavin that is going to be Alderaan-ed in a matter of minutes. In what universe is that a decent strategy? "I know! I'll paddle my life raft back to the Titanic!" You're just being selfish, Antilles. Go down fighting like Red Leader or Jek Porkins.

Episode V: Wedge takes down the AT-AT Walker during the Battle of Hoth. He then gets shot down. The last we hear from him, he's wishing Luke a safe trip to the Dagobah system. Fantastic. He offers good tidings before travel. He's a glorified flight attendant. How does he manage to get off of Hoth? That's another epic tale for Wedgesturbating fanboys to fabricate.

Episode VI: Wedge shoots down a few TIE fighters while Lando does the heavy lifting. Wedge is later seen taking part in the victory party on Endor. What a fair weather team member. He's the special teams captain who shows up at the Super Bowl afterparty, expecting to get laid because he didn't screw up any longsnaps during the game.

So to recap: He shot down a few ships. He tripped up a giant robot camel. He leaves his wingman alone in the face of certain demise. He offers no great one liners ("What about that tower?" honestly?) or any sizable contributions to society. His action figure isn't particularly stellar. His greatest accomplishment is that he survived both Death Star attacks, but all that proved is that he's a better pilot than Biggs.

He ASSISTED in two Death Star explosions without ever actually causing any damage. He's the Steve Nash of trench runs. Two MVP awards, no rings.

But people WORSHIP Wedge Antilles, placing him on a pedestal higher than any other Rebel pilot. There is a strange geek-crush on he and Boba Fett (but that's another whole dissertation about why millions of fans flock to Boba Fett. Even after he gained fame and appeared in the prequels, HE DID NOTHING)

Face the facts, friendos. Wedge is a do-nothing who only gains fame from his undue reputation. When put into a combat situation, he does the bare minimum. Despite the fact that he has accomplished nothing, he gets awards for some reason. And people are willing to vote for him and offer him accolades.

Remind you of anyone?



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...
Post a Comment
Read more

Quick Hit

My rule of thumb regarding heavy drinking has always been: Go as hard as you want, but make sure that someone else in your party is drunker than you are.  That way, the next morning as your friends decompress the night and tag photos on Facebook, they'll say, "Yeah, you were pretty sloshed last night, bro.  But did you see Reginald?  That dude blacked out, tried to put a bouncer in the figure-four leglock, and then texted his mom to brag about it!" No matter how crazy you acted, no matter how many women slapped you for being sexist, no matter how many off color jokes you told (that you swear are funny but everyone else just didn't understand the context), no matter how badly you wrecked your credit card statement by buying drinks for people you had never met before, you can sleep well knowing that the other guy is going to pull focus. Well, that's essentially Newt Gingrich's role at the GOP debates. *****
Post a Comment
Read more

The man who will NEVER Die

Apologies to everyone who's been bitching about me not updating my blog. Maybe this is indicative of how militant people without blogs are....until they decide to start one and get understandably lazy. Let me put it this way: the grass is not as easy to mow on the other side of the fence. And that was too awful of a metaphor for me to use. Moving on.... Recently, the New York Mets offered a two year deal to this man: Julio Franco I know what you're thinking. "Max, I really don't care about baseball to begin with. Why should a two year contract even interest me? By the way, Max, you're incredibly good looking and your bench press is SOOOOO impressive." Why should this deal excite you? Mr. Julio Franco, who has played first base for the Atlanta Braves over the past 5 seasons, is currently 47 years old. Yes. 47. As in the number after 46. When he fulfills his contractual obligations, he will be a 49 year old professional baseball player. Let me put it to you thi...
2 comments
Read more