Guide to Water Cooler Agumentation

The Fiscal Cliff. MLB Free Agency. Israel/Palestine. NHL Lockout. Twilight. Heisman Trophy finalists. "Did you enjoy 'Lincoln'?" Lena Dunham. These are the issues of our time that we are forced to look at as both a country and as an office break room. And even though there are correct answers to these questions (Go over the cliff, Hamilton to the Red Sox for three years $55M, Israel, $10,000 for each player is still too little, Johnny Football, Team Edward, well-acted snoozefest, pity party), we are expected to hash them out with decorum and tact. No matter how many first place ribbons you scored at high school debate tournaments, we could all use a lesson on how to productively discuss without hulking out into a fit of partisan rage.

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David Foster Wallace Writes CVS Receipts

CVS PHARMACY - Transaction #3187420 CVS Nasal Decongestant 1 - $17.89 Starbucks 2 Doubleshot Vanilla - $2.77 Gillette shaving cream - $7.99 3 2x Right Guard deodorant 4 - $5.49 Advil 60 ct 5 - $4.69 Neutrogena facial cleanser 6 - $5.99 Total: $44.82 Cash 7 transaction - Paid $50.00 Change: $5.18 Trip summary - Today you saved: 18% Thank you 8 ! ********** 1. Allergies had been a constant issue for Hal ever since a family trip to Puget Sound twenty years ago prompted his esophagus to close up. Ear, nose and throat issues had always plagued his family, with the exception of his sister Brenda, the golden child who never suffered agonizing sneezing fits; she of the preternaturally infectious energy normally reserved for golden retriever puppies or Roger Federer in the fifth set at Wimbledon. Hal’s deviated septum led to chronic sinusitis and a perpetual need for antihistamines. Today he was opting for the store br...

Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you? Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married. Buy a house. Start a family. This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that? You’re not doing it for the money? Just for “the exposure?” That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent. Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie, That wasn't meant as an insult. I'm sorry you took it that way. Can...

1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...

Max-stravaganza

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