Guide to Water Cooler Agumentation

The Fiscal Cliff. MLB Free Agency. Israel/Palestine. NHL Lockout. Twilight. Heisman Trophy finalists. "Did you enjoy 'Lincoln'?" Lena Dunham. These are the issues of our time that we are forced to look at as both a country and as an office break room. And even though there are correct answers to these questions (Go over the cliff, Hamilton to the Red Sox for three years $55M, Israel, $10,000 for each player is still too little, Johnny Football, Team Edward, well-acted snoozefest, pity party), we are expected to hash them out with decorum and tact. No matter how many first place ribbons you scored at high school debate tournaments, we could all use a lesson on how to productively discuss without hulking out into a fit of partisan rage.

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Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you? Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married. Buy a house. Start a family. This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that? You’re not doing it for the money? Just for “the exposure?” That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent. Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie, That wasn't meant as an insult. I'm sorry you took it that way. Can...

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads. These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate. You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination. Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...

Max-stravaganza

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