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Did this gum wrapper just spoil The Last Jedi?

To the casual fan, this promotional piece of Star Wars Bazooka Bubble Gum is just another example of Disney commencing primary ignition on their merchandising Death Star.  But to the keen, detail-oriented observer, this stick of gum contains a very accurate look at the blueprints of the upcoming Episode VIII. 

These unfortunate reveals occur far too frequently, such as when the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 action figures spoiled that Kurt Russell would play Ego the Living Planet.  Or the Civil War Lego set that let slip the unannounced appearance of Giant Man.  Or when the Mondo black light poster for Suicide Squad revealed that the studio had locked David Ayer out of the post-production process.


THE WRAPPER

Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren and a Porg are front and center.  This image suggests that Kylo and Luke will face off, corroborating comments made by director Rian Johnson as well as on-set reports that Mark Hamill and Adam Driver shot scenes together.  But the insertion of the Porg into this central conflict is most intriguing.  It is easy to overlook, but the Porg has a shadow cast over its face, a clear indication of the Dark Side.  Sounds like LucasFilm is officially appropriating our “Jar Jar is a Sith Master” theory into their own continuity.


THE COMIC

In a three-panel strip, a frustrated Poe Dameron asks a series of questions.  “Why isn’t my ship ready?  Why is this helmet so tight?  Why won’t anyone answer me?”  Rey responds, “Forget an X-Wing.  This guy should fly a WHY-wing bomber!” as Finn, wearing Stormtrooper armor, rolls his eyes. 

Even if Disney removes this scene from the final cut (just for the sake of swerving audiences who have already figured out the twist), the thematic implication is clear: a cynical Rey has lost faith in the Resistance, presumably after uncovering the secret that General Leia is her long lost mother.

 Poe, meanwhile, shows signs of residual PTSD, or he might have been brainwashed by the First Order in Force Awakens.  But I wouldn't want to speculate.

At the Star Wars Celebration in Orlando, John Boyega stated that his character has “Big things in store for him.”  It’s now clear that he meant a Stormtrooper reunion with Captain Phasma (and thanks to her concealed face, she could still very well be his biological mother).

More significantly, Finn is not wearing Poe’s iconic jacket, so it seems unlikely that LucasFilm will put the two together as a couple.  And notable by her conspicuous absence in this bubble gum narrative is the new Vietnamese character Rose Tico.  Could her entrance to the saga also be her exit?   So much for Disney’s commitment to diversity and inclusion.


THE GUM

The gum itself took 41 chews before it lost flavor.  Other fans have confirmed this number, with a few outliers saying 43 and one troll reporting 46.  41 is a key number in Star Wars lore, as at the 41st minute of A New Hope, the Death Star annihilates the planet Alderaan.  And in the 41st minute of Episode II, we meet Jango Fett and the Mandalorian clone army.

Both Leia and clones were focal points of the spin-off novel “The Last Command," making it abundantly clear that Benicio Del Toro’s as-of-yet unnamed character is Grand Admiral Thrawn, implying that despite JJ Abrams' earlier comments, the Timothy Zahn novels are, in fact, canonical.  I’ll have to reread the entire Thrawn trilogy to discover more plot spoilers...or avoid it entirely so I’ll be even slightly surprised when I see the film.


THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE COMIC

In small print, Bazooka Joe offers the one-liner: “BB-8 is BB-Great!”  With his gaunt facial structure and his trademark eye patch, Joe resembles which seemingly one-eyed Star Wars character?  Exactly.  Supreme Leader Snoke.

So adding together both the reintroduction of clones and the one-eyed Bazooka Joe, this outright confirms the “Snoke is a clone of Darth Plagueis” theory that circulated after Reddit user N3rfHerder77 solved the word search on the back of the Force Awakens tie-in box of Rice Krispies.

Snoke is an ancient Force vampire who leeches off of a Jedi’s energy before spitting them out, much like gum chewers do to this product in a bit of meta-commentary that also mirrors what Kathleen Kennedy does to her directors.  I tell you, if this gum had been released earlier, we would have seen the Colin Trevorrow firing coming from 12 parsecs away.

One hoped that the people at LucasFilm would have taken better precautions with spoilers in their licensed merchandise. They might as well printed the entire screenplay on this wrapper.  Disney could have simply given us one or two scant clues and we’d still have plenty to chew on. 

Wait. 

Chew on...

Chewy...

Chewbacca...

Oh good lord.  We just got confirmation that the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk is going to explode in the Kathryn Bigelow-directed Boba Fett spin-off!


-30-



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