Skip to main content
You can't start a fire without a spark

If we were to create a time capsule to enshrine the greatest moments of the 1980s, this Brian DePalma-directed video would have to go up there with the Fall of the Berlin Wall and Kirk Gibson's 9th inning homer/fist pump.
The Boss is in top form here, busting out dance moves that the world would not see again until Elaine Benes at the Peterman Christmas party. Even though Brad Paisley insists that alcohol helps, if it weren't for this video, white people wouldn't have started dancing at all.

0:03 - We start out in black and fade into Bruce's Parkinsons-esque arm movements. It appears as though he came straight to the concert from his office's bowling night and didn't feel like changing his shirt.

0:34 - The first jump stop/subsequent point to the audience of the night for the Boss. By my count, he gets up to about 8.

0:46 - Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Michael J Fox were to do the Twist? Yeah, probably something like that.

0:57 - Nice one, Bruce. The twisting hurricane finger gesture.

1:11 - This crowd point is unique, since Springsteen then goes into a peroid of deep thought as he stares into the abyss and ponders whether or not there is "something happening somewhere" and if this says something about our relative place in the universe. Perhaps Kierkegaard was right and our lives are meaningless and only the "knights of faith" can transcend.

1:19 - Whoops. Guess dramatic arm flailing and intense head turns are just a lot more fun than logic.

1:34 - Holy affirmative action, Batman! We now get the obligatory shots of the black sax player and the Jewish drummer.

1:58 - At this point, Springsteen's left arm goes numb and he's trying his hardest to regain feeling.

2:29 - Greatest. Twist. Ever.

2:49 - Then he attempts to do the Ric Flair chicken walk. Hilarity ensues.

2:56 - To quote GOB Bluth, "I'd kill for an ass like that." Unquote.

3:09 - Bruce now scans the concert, looking for this next score, much like what Wilt Chamberlain used to do at Laker games.

3:18 - Wow. Bruce shows no regard for that microphone, does he?

3:22 - Roadie! Get that woman off the stage right now! I don't care if she bore Chandler's baby, she's not with the band!

3:26 - And we fade out, getting treated to not only a great Clarence Clemmons saxophone solo, but also the anorexic stylings of the Arquette-less Courtney Cox.

And there you have it, the greatest piece of film that America will ever produce. Scorsese should just stop trying. It also goes to show you the versatility of Bruce Springsteen. Not many men can have a seizure AND lip-synch at the same time. Boy, am I glad that some Americans get their political views from this man.

Comments

Anonymous said…
max these posts are too long
its all about brevity

Popular posts from this blog

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

Quick Hit

My rule of thumb regarding heavy drinking has always been: Go as hard as you want, but make sure that someone else in your party is drunker than you are.  That way, the next morning as your friends decompress the night and tag photos on Facebook, they'll say, "Yeah, you were pretty sloshed last night, bro.  But did you see Reginald?  That dude blacked out, tried to put a bouncer in the figure-four leglock, and then texted his mom to brag about it!" No matter how crazy you acted, no matter how many women slapped you for being sexist, no matter how many off color jokes you told (that you swear are funny but everyone else just didn't understand the context), no matter how badly you wrecked your credit card statement by buying drinks for people you had never met before, you can sleep well knowing that the other guy is going to pull focus. Well, that's essentially Newt Gingrich's role at the GOP debates. *****

The man who will NEVER Die

Apologies to everyone who's been bitching about me not updating my blog. Maybe this is indicative of how militant people without blogs are....until they decide to start one and get understandably lazy. Let me put it this way: the grass is not as easy to mow on the other side of the fence. And that was too awful of a metaphor for me to use. Moving on.... Recently, the New York Mets offered a two year deal to this man: Julio Franco I know what you're thinking. "Max, I really don't care about baseball to begin with. Why should a two year contract even interest me? By the way, Max, you're incredibly good looking and your bench press is SOOOOO impressive." Why should this deal excite you? Mr. Julio Franco, who has played first base for the Atlanta Braves over the past 5 seasons, is currently 47 years old. Yes. 47. As in the number after 46. When he fulfills his contractual obligations, he will be a 49 year old professional baseball player. Let me put it to you thi...