Max-stravaganza

Next week, the Gotham City Council will vote on its proposed $10.5 billion dollar budget for its ineffective and destructive police department.    More money will be wasted on military grade tanks, riot gear, and anti-vigilante task forces while crime remains at record highs, confidence in the police is at an all time low, and citizens are more likely to trust their fate to a clearly sociopathic individual dressed like a bat.  We, the citizens of Gotham, are tired of watching as we misappropriate funds to ensure mass incarceration while bank robberies still seem to occur every month and Arkham Asylum’s recidivism rate is nearly 100%.  Gotham’s proactive policing is indicative of a broken criminal justice system and a broken city that cries out for serious, long overdue change. The resources spent hunting down Catwoman after she robs yet another billionaire could easily address this city’s clear mental health crisis.  Look at how many of our citizens dress up in costumes and en

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now considering the possibi

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA.   Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline.   The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing.   There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup.   Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry.   Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars, you should have alread

To the casual fan, this promotional piece of Star Wars Bazooka Bubble Gum is just another example of Disney commencing primary ignition on their merchandising Death Star.  But to the keen, detail-oriented observer, this stick of gum contains a very accurate look at the blueprints of the upcoming Episode VIII.  These unfortunate reveals occur far too frequently, such as when the  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2  action figures spoiled that Kurt Russell would play Ego the Living Planet.  Or the  Civil War  Lego set that let slip the unannounced appearance of Giant Man.  Or when the Mondo black light poster for  Suicide Squad  revealed that the studio had locked David Ayer out of the post-production process. THE WRAPPER Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren and a Porg are front and center.    This image suggests that Kylo and Luke will face off, corroborating comments made by director Rian Johnson as well as on-set reports that Mark Hamill and Adam Driver shot scenes together .   But the

CVS PHARMACY - Transaction #3187420 CVS Nasal Decongestant 1  - $17.89 Starbucks 2  Doubleshot Vanilla - $2.77 Gillette shaving cream - $7.99 3 2x Right Guard deodorant 4   - $5.49 Advil 60 ct 5 - $4.69 Neutrogena facial cleanser 6 - $5.99 Total: $44.82 Cash 7 transaction - Paid $50.00 Change: $5.18 Trip summary - Today you saved: 18% Thank you 8 ! ********** 1. Allergies had been a constant issue for Hal ever since a family trip to Puget Sound twenty years ago prompted his esophagus to close up.   Ear, nose and throat issues had always plagued his family, with the exception of his sister Brenda, the golden child who never suffered agonizing sneezing fits; she of the preternaturally infectious energy normally reserved for golden retriever puppies or Roger Federer in the fifth set at Wimbledon. Hal’s deviated septum led to chronic sinusitis and a perpetual need for antihistamines.   Today he was opting for the store brand a rather than Nasac

Marin County Coroner’s Office Name of Deceased: McDowell, Trent Sex: Male Age: 31 T.O.D: 9:31pm Body identified by: The woman the deceased was dating (not “his girlfriend.”   She made this distinction - see supplementary notes for details) Autopsy performed by: Randy “Doc Savage” Russell, M.D. EXTERNAL EXAMINATION: The autopsy began at 11:30PM on February 14th.   The victim was wearing a Brooks Brothers blazer over an Oakland Raiders t-shirt.   Upon removal of the deceased’s clothes, I detected an odor of Tom Ford Noir cologne, applied liberally. Calluses on hands are consistent with lifting free weights and not actual manual labor.   Judging by the proportional strength of quadriceps and gluteus maximus muscles, the deceased rarely skipped leg day. Victim has two tattoos.   One of the Greek letters “Sigma Chi” across right biceps.   On the left anterior deltoid, the second tattoo reads: “Blood, Sweat and Respect.   The first two you give, the last one you