Max-stravaganza

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA.   Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline.   The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing.   There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup.   Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry.   Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars...

To the casual fan, this promotional piece of Star Wars Bazooka Bubble Gum is just another example of Disney commencing primary ignition on their merchandising Death Star.  But to the keen, detail-oriented observer, this stick of gum contains a very accurate look at the blueprints of the upcoming Episode VIII.  These unfortunate reveals occur far too frequently, such as when the  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2  action figures spoiled that Kurt Russell would play Ego the Living Planet.  Or the  Civil War  Lego set that let slip the unannounced appearance of Giant Man.  Or when the Mondo black light poster for  Suicide Squad  revealed that the studio had locked David Ayer out of the post-production process. THE WRAPPER Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren and a Porg are front and center.    This image suggests that Kylo and Luke will face off, corroborating comments made by director Rian Johnson as well as on-set reports that M...

CVS PHARMACY - Transaction #3187420 CVS Nasal Decongestant 1  - $17.89 Starbucks 2  Doubleshot Vanilla - $2.77 Gillette shaving cream - $7.99 3 2x Right Guard deodorant 4   - $5.49 Advil 60 ct 5 - $4.69 Neutrogena facial cleanser 6 - $5.99 Total: $44.82 Cash 7 transaction - Paid $50.00 Change: $5.18 Trip summary - Today you saved: 18% Thank you 8 ! ********** 1. Allergies had been a constant issue for Hal ever since a family trip to Puget Sound twenty years ago prompted his esophagus to close up.   Ear, nose and throat issues had always plagued his family, with the exception of his sister Brenda, the golden child who never suffered agonizing sneezing fits; she of the preternaturally infectious energy normally reserved for golden retriever puppies or Roger Federer in the fifth set at Wimbledon. Hal’s deviated septum led to chronic sinusitis and a perpetual need for antihistamines.   Today he was opting for the store br...

Marin County Coroner’s Office Name of Deceased: McDowell, Trent Sex: Male Age: 31 T.O.D: 9:31pm Body identified by: The woman the deceased was dating (not “his girlfriend.”   She made this distinction - see supplementary notes for details) Autopsy performed by: Randy “Doc Savage” Russell, M.D. EXTERNAL EXAMINATION: The autopsy began at 11:30PM on February 14th.   The victim was wearing a Brooks Brothers blazer over an Oakland Raiders t-shirt.   Upon removal of the deceased’s clothes, I detected an odor of Tom Ford Noir cologne, applied liberally. Calluses on hands are consistent with lifting free weights and not actual manual labor.   Judging by the proportional strength of quadriceps and gluteus maximus muscles, the deceased rarely skipped leg day. Victim has two tattoos.   One of the Greek letters “Sigma Chi” across right biceps.   On the left anterior deltoid, the second tattoo reads: “Blood, Sweat and Respect.   The fi...

With organic, seasonal ingredients delivered right to your door, Blue Apron is an easy and fun way for couples to grow closer in the kitchen! Today, you are preparing Ponzu Glazed Catfish with Garlic Rice and Blanched Organic Bok Choy.  Since this is a team activity, we have provided two sets of recipes.    Work together and it will be done twice as fast! INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN Okay.  This is it.  This is D-Day.  This is where you prove that you have what it takes to keep this relationship going.  She’s always saying that you guys don’t do anything new.  I mean, how many times have you been to that Thai place around the corner?  Too goddam many. This meal is where you show that you’re adventurous and spontaneous but also thorough and detail oriented.    Blue Apron will save your relationship!  That’s a guarantee.  Well, not officially from the company.  But I will help you out, bro! STEP ONE:  ...

Look.   I don’t know why you keep bringing me in for questioning.   I’ve already told you where I was on that day.   I was having brunch, celebrating the birthday of my buddy Pete D. Clutter.   We were eating slow-roasted pork belly with kale pesto and I was telling Petey about this new home skincare remedy that works miracles-- Okay.   Fine!   You got me.   I’ll talk about the heist.   But I swear that I never met Keyser Soze.   I don’t even think that he exists.   So it’s late night and I get a text telling me to go to this one address .   I walk into this room.   Small room.   Very cramped.   But thanks to some simple décor hacks they opened it up by utilizing negative space.   And waiting in said space are three other crooks.   One guy was a crafty son of a bitch.   Could break into any building.   Dario Ignacio Yontez.   We called him “DIY.” Keaton was a born leader. ...

“Star Wars” Screenwriter: George Lucas Page count: 127pgs Genre: Science Fiction Draft date: November 29, 1974 Logline:  After discovering that his father was a legendary warrior, a farm boy becomes entangled in an intergalactic civil war. Comments:  STAR WARS is a fairly conventional story that isn’t quite unique enough to stand out from the other sci-fi properties.  It’s nothing more than the classic Hero’s Journey set against the backdrop of outer space.  The writer’s feeble attempt at world building merely consists of name-dropping extraneous alien species, spacecraft and weapons .   There is no real substance or original ideas   in STAR WARS, leading to a decent if forgettable read. PLOT While the act structure is serviceable and hits the requisite beats, the plot is fairly standard, going from station to station (sometimes literally).  After a text-heavy exposition dump at the top, we move into an alien world featuring a ...