Skip to main content

I don't wanna rock (ROCK) DJ, but you're making me feel so nice

Tonight, I'm going to write about a conundrum that has been haunting me lately. It's a little paradoxical, a little contradictory, but I hope that you'll understand. Now, let's start with the given facts: I, Max G. Davison, am a heat seeking, straight shooting, VERY heterosexual bachelor. I love the ladies like a fat kid loves candy. I love women like a lion loves mammal flesh. I love females like Carl Weathers loves stew (hopefully Arrested fans will pick up on that one). I enjoy slabs of undercooked red meat. John Wayne is a hero of mine. I vote Republican. Basically, anything that's straight is a-okay with me.
So, seeing as I like women and all that...
WHY DO I LISTEN TO ROBBIE WILLIAMS?

Why do I listen to such an effeminate singer?

Even as I sit here, writing this entry and affirmation of my heterosity, I've got 'Angels' playing on my iPod. It's music that is so undeniably feminine....but it's also pretty damn catchy. If you're not familiar with the song, I recommend you download it immediately from MyTunes.

SPEAKING of which...I want to know who these 5 people are who look up everyone's songs on the MyTunes network so that I can't. I can just see 5 idiots up at 12:01, connecting to every playlist that they can find. Beware, you five sons of bitches. I'm on to you. Your fiendish plot will be vanquished soon enough.

Anyhoo, look up Robbie on images.google.com . Yup. He's a very pretty man. I'll admit it. Pretty.
So why do I listen to Robbie Williams? I have no answer. But if you question my taste, I'll pose this question to you: I dare you to download 'Rock DJ' or 'Tripping' and try not singing along.

Hope everything's going well with everyone. Especially David Delgado, who is pushing me to starvation slowly but surely. Of course, today he had a pretty good reason for not updating *wink wink nudge nudge* *fake punches david in the gut and calls him a cad*

Anyhoo, here's a Simpsons quote that Marco and I were laughing at yesterday:

Homer: They're embarrassing me. They're embarrassing America. They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce, and Lance, and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had! Now they're just, uh...
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Popular posts from this blog

1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

Autopsy Report - Cause of Death: Toxic Masculinity

Marin County Coroner’s Office Name of Deceased: McDowell, Trent Sex: Male Age: 31 T.O.D: 9:31pm Body identified by: The woman the deceased was dating (not “his girlfriend.”   She made this distinction - see supplementary notes for details) Autopsy performed by: Randy “Doc Savage” Russell, M.D. EXTERNAL EXAMINATION: The autopsy began at 11:30PM on February 14th.   The victim was wearing a Brooks Brothers blazer over an Oakland Raiders t-shirt.   Upon removal of the deceased’s clothes, I detected an odor of Tom Ford Noir cologne, applied liberally. Calluses on hands are consistent with lifting free weights and not actual manual labor.   Judging by the proportional strength of quadriceps and gluteus maximus muscles, the deceased rarely skipped leg day. Victim has two tattoos.   One of the Greek letters “Sigma Chi” across right biceps.   On the left anterior deltoid, the second tattoo reads: “Blood, Sweat and Respect.   The fi...