Could it be an update?

Well, it's been a god awful long time since I've posted anything. I could go on and on apologizing/explaining my absense. And people could go on and on bitching about how their lives were meaningless without my witty comments. Let's simply bypass that and move on with our lives, shall we?

So, I haven't been updating since I've started writing for the CMC online newspaper, The Forum.

http://forum.ascmc.org

If you want your weekly dose of Max, check out the website and read my columns. They'll entertain you while I'm trying to think of something about which to blog.

This is a bit of a cop out of an entry since it doesn't contain any actual content...but consider it a harbinger of things to come. I will start paying attention to this blog, don't worry.

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Kickstarter Project Update #37 - Our 3D printed water bottles and our co-founder are being held hostage by pirates

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA. Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline. The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing. There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup. Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry. Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars...

Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you? Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married. Buy a house. Start a family. This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that? You’re not doing it for the money? Just for “the exposure?” That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent. Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie, That wasn't meant as an insult. I'm sorry you took it that way. Can...

David Foster Wallace Writes CVS Receipts

CVS PHARMACY - Transaction #3187420 CVS Nasal Decongestant 1 - $17.89 Starbucks 2 Doubleshot Vanilla - $2.77 Gillette shaving cream - $7.99 3 2x Right Guard deodorant 4 - $5.49 Advil 60 ct 5 - $4.69 Neutrogena facial cleanser 6 - $5.99 Total: $44.82 Cash 7 transaction - Paid $50.00 Change: $5.18 Trip summary - Today you saved: 18% Thank you 8 ! ********** 1. Allergies had been a constant issue for Hal ever since a family trip to Puget Sound twenty years ago prompted his esophagus to close up. Ear, nose and throat issues had always plagued his family, with the exception of his sister Brenda, the golden child who never suffered agonizing sneezing fits; she of the preternaturally infectious energy normally reserved for golden retriever puppies or Roger Federer in the fifth set at Wimbledon. Hal’s deviated septum led to chronic sinusitis and a perpetual need for antihistamines. Today he was opting for the store br...

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