24 October 2007 - The one where Max becomes a bleeding heart pinko commie flag-burning baby-killing Chomsky-reading Clinton-fellating liberal

Perhaps it's been the past decade of left wing private schooling. Maybe it's the fact that my fall semester of "Hugo Chavez presents: Film 101" has been dominated by lectures dedicated to: Feminist and Queer film theory, why we shouldn't buy any Apple products, how Stalin helped the development of film stock, and why we should only see independent films.
(Sidebar- I think that Ari Gold put it best with regards to indy films: "Have you ever been on an indy set, Vinny? Do you know how hard it is to bang an extra on an apple box?")
Or maybe Al Gore's message has finally gotten through to me, thanks to the Nobel prize he received thanks to "old Europe’s envy and hatred of the America that refuses to flagellate itself and defer to the supposed superior wisdom and cultural sophistication of an exhausted civilization."
Either way, it's high time that I start caring about the issues. This is the dawn of a new, socially conscious era in my life. There are too many issues out there to simply turn our heads and look the other way. AIDS. Gangbangers. Violent videogames. The threat of a privatized social security. We need to band together and do our part by adopting as many Ghanese children as possible. And when they turn 16, we'll buy them all hybrid cars and maybe they'll form a soccer team (because football has become waaaaay too mainstream).
The following clip gives you a good idea as to my Joliean devotion to the underpriveleged. And I urge you to think about it, think think about it.

On an unrelated note, it also appears that Don Mattingly is set to become the new manager of the Bronx Bombers. I've got no problem with Donnie Baseball...just as long as he cuts those sideburns.

Death to the infidels,
MGD

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1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads. These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate. You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination. Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

Autopsy Report - Cause of Death: Toxic Masculinity

Marin County Coroner’s Office Name of Deceased: McDowell, Trent Sex: Male Age: 31 T.O.D: 9:31pm Body identified by: The woman the deceased was dating (not “his girlfriend.” She made this distinction - see supplementary notes for details) Autopsy performed by: Randy “Doc Savage” Russell, M.D. EXTERNAL EXAMINATION: The autopsy began at 11:30PM on February 14th. The victim was wearing a Brooks Brothers blazer over an Oakland Raiders t-shirt. Upon removal of the deceased’s clothes, I detected an odor of Tom Ford Noir cologne, applied liberally. Calluses on hands are consistent with lifting free weights and not actual manual labor. Judging by the proportional strength of quadriceps and gluteus maximus muscles, the deceased rarely skipped leg day. Victim has two tattoos. One of the Greek letters “Sigma Chi” across right biceps. On the left anterior deltoid, the second tattoo reads: “Blood, Sweat and Respect. The fi...

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