Skip to main content

3 October 2007 - I'll take Carrie Underwood for $400, Alex.

Well, my droogs, my favorite cereal in the world, Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Clusters was on sale today at the supermarket. There's no better feeling when you can buy two boxes of cereal, go through one in a single sitting and still feel as though you're packing on pounds of profit. Now if only Nutella made a breakfast cereal...


I haven't mentioned this to many people, but I took the Jeopardy College Test last Friday. Even before I made "the list," Jeopardy had always been a life goal. I'm a total Trebekkie and I'm proud of it. Probably my earliest memory is watching Jeopardy at our house in Studio City. Every single night at 7pm our TV would be tuned to ABC 7. When I look back on those days, I find it both comforting and a little embarrassing that the longest running tradition in our household revolves around a game show. Also, when looking back on Alex Trebek's facial hair, I find it really strange to see him with a moustache. He's only been clean shaven for about the past four years, but I've grown accustomed to his bare Canadian upper lip.
I mean, just look at this photo and ask yourself, Who does this guy think he is?

"I'm Keith Hernandez."

But I took the test, which was 50 questions long. Although I tried, I couldn't really keep track of every Q they asked. But I think that I answered close to about 44 correct. I had no clue which explorer discovered Albany (Hudson) or who Thesus' wife was (Andromeda). But I did know that Jimmy Smits played Bobby Simone and that Moe Syzlak is the bartender on the Simpsons. I haven't heard back from the producers, which probably means that like Dodger fans everywhere, I'll have to wait for next year.
Or maybe not. Maybe next spring, I'll be standing at the podium in my new CMC sweatshirt as Johnny Gilbert announces "A Junior from Claremont McKenna College. 5 foot 10 inches, 185 pounds of pure man. Originally from Los Angeles, CA. He is the Dancing Destroyer...the King of Sting...the Master of Disaster...The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah...the People's Champion...the Count of Monte Fisto. MAX DAVISON."
Yep. Keep your eyes peeled for that. Sorry, I mean "What is" keep your eyes peeled for that. Gotta get into top Jeopardy form.

-MGD
Max Davison is currently abroad in Auckland, New Zealand. He was once the frontman for a little known band called the “Foregone Conclusion.” He was a lyrics man mainly, but he music came naturally. At one point, they were supported by a little outfit out of Scotland called “Texas.” He currently manages the Slough branch of Wernham-Hogg.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

1 October 2007 - The One Where Max Lives like he was dying

Now this might sound like a slightly melodramatic overexaggeration, but over this past weekend, I faced a crossroads that changed the structure of my entire being and put me on a completely different path. If you're still reading, I applaud you and ask you to bare with me. Basically, I had a choice: One option meant that I would stay in Auckland and work on my 1500 word " Singin' in the Rain " paper as well as my upcoming in-class essay on Paul Gauguin. The other involved a weekend long trip that would put me in mortal danger and annihilate the balance of my checking account. So the choice was obvious. And I? I took the road less traveled by and decided to drive down to Lake Taupo on Friday afternoon and put off my papers until...well...right now (and I suppose this blog gives me yet another outlet for procrastination). So what was this mystery trip? I was going to wake up on Saturday morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. But once my pants were on, I wa...
Post a Comment
Read more

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...
Post a Comment
Read more

Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you?  Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married.  Buy a house.  Start a family.  This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that?  You’re not doing it for the money?  Just for “the exposure?”  That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent.  Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie,  That wasn't meant as an insult.  I'm sorry you took it that way.  Can...
Post a Comment
Read more