Are you ready for some football?

Since my Niners are out of the playoffs yet again this season (despite the fact that they doubled last year's win total), it's that time of the year in which I jump onto the least favorable bandwagon. Why the least favorable as opposed to...the Patriots every year? Because unlike my friend Will Wagner (read: band WAGner), I like to root for the underdog. It makes the postseason that much more enjoyable. And like the elitist that I am, I can't cheer on the favorite.

So who am I picking to win Super Bowl LV? None other than the New England Patriots.
I know what you're thinking and allow me to answer your two questions: yes, I do wear stylish boxer shorts and b) this is NOT the same thing as picking the Pats last season. They have been proven to be fallible as their 10-6 record proves. If anything, this is a bold pick on my part since starting LT Todd Light is out for the season.

Normally I would root against the "dynasty" since it takes attention away from the last TRUE dynasty, namely the Bill Walsh era of the 49ers c. 1984. So why am I going with the Pats? Four reasons:
1) Tom Brady is the best looking man in the NFL. And us handsome types have to stick together.
2) They signed Tim Dwight, the fastest (white) player in the NFL, and my favorite San Diego Charger of all time.
3) It would be un-American (read: liberal) to root against the PATRIOTS.
4) Yesterday, January 1, 2006, Max's Hero #15 kicked the first successful drop kick PAT since 1941. It's fate. No team with Doug Flutie on the roster can possibly lose.

Comments

Anonymous said…

If you really wanted to root for the underdog, you can always root for the Denver Broncos, lead by none other than Jake "the Snake" Plummer. Now there's a QB with something to prove (namely that Elway isn't the only Denver QB).

Kate

Although it's true that Brady is exceptionally good looking. Like a modern day Joe Namath (and yes, I know that Broadway Joe isn't dead yet).

January 11, 2006 at 12:38 PM

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads. These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate. You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination. Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...

Quick Hit

My rule of thumb regarding heavy drinking has always been: Go as hard as you want, but make sure that someone else in your party is drunker than you are. That way, the next morning as your friends decompress the night and tag photos on Facebook, they'll say, "Yeah, you were pretty sloshed last night, bro. But did you see Reginald? That dude blacked out, tried to put a bouncer in the figure-four leglock, and then texted his mom to brag about it!" No matter how crazy you acted, no matter how many women slapped you for being sexist, no matter how many off color jokes you told (that you swear are funny but everyone else just didn't understand the context), no matter how badly you wrecked your credit card statement by buying drinks for people you had never met before, you can sleep well knowing that the other guy is going to pull focus. Well, that's essentially Newt Gingrich's role at the GOP debates. *****

The man who will NEVER Die

Apologies to everyone who's been bitching about me not updating my blog. Maybe this is indicative of how militant people without blogs are....until they decide to start one and get understandably lazy. Let me put it this way: the grass is not as easy to mow on the other side of the fence. And that was too awful of a metaphor for me to use. Moving on.... Recently, the New York Mets offered a two year deal to this man: Julio Franco I know what you're thinking. "Max, I really don't care about baseball to begin with. Why should a two year contract even interest me? By the way, Max, you're incredibly good looking and your bench press is SOOOOO impressive." Why should this deal excite you? Mr. Julio Franco, who has played first base for the Atlanta Braves over the past 5 seasons, is currently 47 years old. Yes. 47. As in the number after 46. When he fulfills his contractual obligations, he will be a 49 year old professional baseball player. Let me put it to you thi...

Max-stravaganza

Search This Blog