Skip to main content

14 August 2007 - Flashback to arrival

I left for New Zealand on July 3, and arrived on the 5th. First off, the time difference is slightly strange. I lost an entire day in the flight over the Pacific. This means that I am currently 19 hours ahead of Pacific Standard Time. This makes for interesting iChat conversations, since people are always incredibly amused when they find out that I've torn an extra page off of my daily Far Side calendar.
My journey into the future has served me well on several occasions. I got the last Harry Potter book before everyone else at home, and was able to spoil the living hell out of it. Dumbledore died again on page 762. Who would have thunk it?
I have also been able to warn my friends against unwise action. Oh, if Darren is reading this, don't ask out the Red headed chick at work today. She's going to insist that she's not ready for an office romance and values your friendship too much to ruin it.

But I have also learned about the hazards of time travel. No, this isn't the paradox about crushing a butterfly in the past and changing history. Nor is it like when Marty McFly nearly made out with his own mother at a 1950s prom. Nor is it an ontological paradox like when Marty McFly inspired Chuck Berry with a song that Berry had already recorded (still can't get my head around that one).
In leaving on the 3rd and getting in on the 5th, I entirely missed Independence Day. No fireworks. No Twilight Zone marathon. No overwhelming feeling of patriotism akin to October, 2001. I couldn't celebrate with a fresh batch of America balls (First person to tell me the ingredients gets a Schrute Buck).
When my US-timed watch hit midnight on the fourth, I blasted Toby Keith on my iPod, cursed the Dixie Chicks and built a wall between the Mexican guy sitting next to me, but it wasn't the same*.


-MGD



That's what she said of the day:
(re: My well timed pop culture reference)
You really know when to whip it out.


*So this has brought us up to July 5th. I'll be trying my hardest to catch up to the present...another strange time travel situation.

Comments

Kat said…
America balls: balls of dog food with American flags on toothpicks sticking out.

"My theory is, Skinner likes dog food."
August 22, 2007 at 3:13 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

HR's Response to the Always Be Closing Speech

--> Dear Mr. Blake- My office has received numerous complaints in response to Tuesday’s speech to the sales team re: the Glengarry leads.   These troubling accusations detail inappropriate conduct such as: verbal abuse, workplace bullying, emasculation, damage to self-esteem and emotional health, and the overall fostering of a hostile and cutthroat work environment, all of which flies in the face of the mission statement and core values of Mitch & Murray Real Estate.   You employed inflammatory language and certain epithets that you can’t use anymore (and never should have been able to use, if we’re being honest), leading to a speech that was offensive to a multitude of groups, even those not present in the room (Note to self: We should make a concerted effort to hire at least one woman to our sales staff). In another office, any of these infractions would be grounds for termination.   Per our company guidelines, however, we are now consideri...
Post a Comment
Read more

Quiz - Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner?

Who said it: Tyler Durden or My Father at Thanksgiving Dinner? 1) How’s that working out for you?  Being clever? 2) Isn’t it time you realized your full potential and became a real man? 3) Get married.  Buy a house.  Start a family.  This is what you've always wanted, right? 4) Meanwhile you’re wasting your time, writing your little satirical pieces instead of contributing to society. 5) Do you have any idea how much we spent on your MFA? 6) Oh what’s that?  You’re not doing it for the money?  Just for “the exposure?”  That’s the same excuse you used on improv classes! 7) Yes, I’m aware that the world needs artists now more than ever, but that doesn’t prevent you from working as a copywriter to subsidize your “art.” 8) Yes, I’ve read the examples you’ve sent.  Those “Who said it?” quizzes. 9) Even your mother felt they were too cute by half. 10) No, Valerie,  That wasn't meant as an insult.  I'm sorry you took it that way.  Can...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kickstarter Project Update #37 - Our 3D printed water bottles and our co-founder are being held hostage by pirates

Dear Backers/fellow dream chasers, Fourteen months ago, you proudly declared that not only did you want a BPA-free water bottle with a custom-printed conforming grip, but you also agreed with the core message and vision of H20DNA.   Part of that mission statement includes being upfront about our delivery timeline.   The good news is that we have finally manufactured every single bottle and they are truly amazing.   There is, however, one minor, fairly negligible hiccup.   Nicaraguan pirates have abducted the completed shipment of bottles as well as our co-founder, Eric Steen-Owens. But do not worry.   Start-up culture means always following through, and just as you didn’t quit when we challenged you to hit the stretch goals of a fanny pack attachment and CamelBak adaptor straw, we will not stop until those bottles (and Eric) are delivered to your door and the US consulate, respectively. -For those of you who pledged up to $35 dollars...
Post a Comment
Read more