Skip to main content

20 August 2007 - The Classes

That whole "Study" part of the study abroad experience gets overlooked like the ugly friend at a bachelorette party. I'm taking four classes right now, none of which really match up to what CMC would offer. And for the past few weeks I haven't given that much thought to them...except now I've got three projects due next week. So you know what that means: procrastinate with the blog.

First off, we've got the Language of Film.
This is one of the largest classes that the university offers...since there are tons of incoming students who have been deluded into believing that they're going to be the next Peter Jackson and win multiple Oscars. I'd make fun of them more if I weren't one of them myself.
There are about 350 students in this lecture hall and there are three different rotating lecturers. The first is a skinny American woman, whose only credential (it seems) is that she's American. She gives you your bare bones, definition lectures about "This is a dolly shot" or "The first feature film released was D.W. Griffith's..."
The second professor is...well...how do I put this nicely? If Dos Equis found the Most Interesting Man in the World, then this woman is his Bizarro opposite. Half of her talks are apologies for not knowing how to use PowerPoint or a DVD player. And when she does talk, it's word-for-word off of the projected notes.
The third prof is pretty damn interesting. Well spoken, good points, good demeanor. But of course there's a problem.
Last week during the lecture, he went on about how he's positive that Tom Cruise is gay. He insisted that Tom's got an entire armada of lawyers getting rid of any attempts to get him out of the closet.
I have never been so tempted to walk out of a class since Bob Faggen went on a 15 rant about how I should never use the phrase "incredibly unique." (I'm pretty sure that this is yet another reference that Noah will get and Fawkes won't).
Despite his blasphemy, I think that I can continue on with this class. After seeing that Eric Murphy can make it as a Hollywood Producer, I'm more motivated to do something, and this course is giving me the basic knowledge to do so. What does this mean for the masses? I'm one step closer to having my own Entourage. I've already got my own Ari, E and Lloyd, so if you think that you'd make a good Drama (over-inflated ego) or Turtle (lazy XBox addict), send your resume and cover sheet to mdavison09@cmc.edu.

Art History - Renaissance
This class is boring the hell out of me. Renaissance art is meant to be appreciated, not studied. It's a subject more suited for discussion by women as they come and go.
The course could easily go as follows:
"Here's a Da Vinci."
"Ooooooh."
*Change slide*
"This was painted by Giotto."
"Ooooooh."
*Change slide*
But what makes it interesting is the prof. It's taught by an American woman who, by her accent, grew up in the south. But she then presumably studied for a while in Italy, since she has that horrible Giada De Laurentiis affected manner of over pronouncing any Italian name. Sadly, without the Giada De Laurentiis boob job that just screams "Put me in Maxim."
But I can forgive her. She studied Art History in college. And we know that art history is a major that should be renamed "I Really Hope I Marry Wealthy."

Art History - Impressionism
Absolutely loving this one. We have two rotating lecturers. The first is a short New Zealand woman who despite her no-nonsense, bastard coated bastard exterior has a soft, funny nougaty center. And she's managed to teach me the difference between Manet and Monet. Next step: Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton.
The other prof has the Art history trifecta going for him: 1) Knowledgable 2) Old 3) Flamingly Gay. If you had to pick an ideal art history professor, this is your guy.

Tragedy in the Age of Shakespeare
Appropriately enough, I've got a British prof with a deep voice that was made for the Shakespearean stage. He resembles Derek Jacobi a good deal, but I don't think that means much to anyone. While I like the subject matter, the class seems to be moving at a remedial pace. Two weeks ago we spent an entire hour on "What is iambic pentameter?" And I never thought I'd say this, but Prof. Tobias Gregory taught the lecture better.

John Lennon said that life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Well, for me just replace with word "life" with "class." While I'm not in New Zealand specifically for the University of Auckland, it's not a bad place to spend a few hours a week.


Oh, and before I get any crap about this, I slept through my fantasy football draft today. It was scheduled for 8:30am my time, and somehow or another my alarm got turned off and I woke up at 10. No worries. All that means is that I drafted 6 running backs and 7 wide receivers. Depth, baby. I've got depth. And a lot of trade bait, so let's talk.


-MGD


That's what she said of the day:
(While skiing)
Does this poll look too long to you?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It was labor day weekend, I was 17. I bought a coke and some gasoline.

It's currently day three of my blogging adventure, and David Delgado has still not accepted my challenge to get off of his lazy ass and start writing. This is why a hunger strike may be necessary. If Mr. Delgado does not cave in and post a new entry by the end of this week, then on November 14th, I, Max Davison, will officially pull a Ghandi and abstain from eating for as long as it takes. Homer Simpson also utilized this tactic when the Springfield Isotopes were planning on moving to Albuquerque. It worked then, and it will work now if necessary. Onto the blogging... I had a rather pleasant dinner at the Ath tonight. It was a class dinner for Prof. Busch's GOVT20 class. The highlights included conversations about the Ivory Coast, strange roommates, and (most importantly) they had some great cheesecake. So great, in fact, that we raided the empty tables to ensure ourselves some extra slices. Cheesecake. I love it. Occasionally, I'm not sure if I want cake or a dairy

25 October 2007 - I'm not sure what his appeal is, but he deserves better

Superman has kryptonite. Mike Tyson has Buster Douglas. Vince Young has grammar. We all have our weaknesses. But mine is a little bit more embarassing than any of the aforementioned (apart from VY's hatred of the present tense): dumb romantic comedies. Yes, it's not something that I like to admit and it's a vice probably better suited for the Probie or Sean Garrity , but I just like to sit down for an hour and a half, turn my brain off and watch two people fall in love. And apart from the Hanks/Ryan classics (which were ruined for me after Meg ditched Dennis Quaid for Cinderella Man ), there is one thread that links all of my favorites: Hugh Grant. I mean, just look at the guy. When he's not getting arrested for picking up hookers on Sunset (here's a better shot of the man), he's the epitome of the 90 minute romance. He's got "endearingly befuddled" down to an art form, he's also got perfect comedic timing and if you've ever seen hi

To forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race

So, I've decided to take a break from my James Joyce paper to talk about my candidate for President in 2008. He is a man of convictions. A man with a stellar record of military service. A man who knows how to get things done. A man who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in order to set the world straight. A man who also has a talk show on FoxNews and frequents the Sean Hannity radio program. Col. Oliver North Argue with me if you dare. You'll lose. Do you want a strong leader like Colonel North or Hillary? That's right. I'm glad you see it my way. With that being said, I'll go back to my boy Stephen Dedalus. SERENITY NOW!!!!!