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Indiana Jones' T.A.

We’ve got a packed house today, so please try to find a seat.  Welcome to Archaeology 105.  I’m Cody, your T.A. for the semester.  Unfortunately Dr. Jones will not be in class this week.  He’s off on one of his, let’s say, “side projects.”  So, until he returns, I’ll be taking over his lectures and office hours.  Luckily for you I wrote the lesson plan for him, so you’re not going to miss out on anything.  So if you’ll open your books to page--

Ladies?  Why are you leaving?  Oh, you were just auditing?  All right. 

Well, today’s lecture will focus on Mesopotamia’s development.  Archaeologist Kathleen Kenyon was the first to state that the Neolithic Era could be broken down into two distinct--

Me?  No.  I haven’t been on any adventures with Dr. Jones. Although, last summer I did take part in an archaeological dig in New Mexico.  Well, if we’re being technical I just assisted in the dig.  Either way, we didn’t uncover anything other than shards of pottery.  But, in my opinion, archaeology is more than just globetrotting and treasure hunting. 

As I was saying, Mesopotamian civilization deviated from other societies of the era in a few key ways.  For one--

Uh, gentlemen?  Could you please stop talking?  This is an essential bit of information, integral to both your final exam and your future careers in this field. 

But none of you are archaeology majors?  Ok.  And you’re all taking this pass/fail.  Great.  Then why exactly did you choose to take this particular--  Because everyone on campus says, “You have to take a Doctor Jones class before you graduate.”  Right.  Of course.

Well, while you’re here you can still learn something about ancient societies.  Marshall College has one hell of an archaeology department.  We have professors who are far more qualified than Dr. Jones.  And, quite frankly, the man’s credentials are not that impressive.  Considering his numerous absences, how he got tenure is beyond me.

The professor you really need to take is my mentor and thesis reader, Dr. Stephen Henderson-Caldwell.  He places emphasis on the academic arena rather than gallivanting off in Nepal, searching for some rare artifact with little to no educational value.

And more of you just walked out.  Fantastic.

Look.  I’m the one who’s going to be grading your papers, not Dr. Jones.   So maybe you should start showing me a little bit of respect.  I’m writing my honors PhD dissertation on the subject of ancient Greece and the origins of their mythology--

No, that does not mean Atlantis.  Yes, I am sure. No, I don’t feel the need to do the legwork and unequivocally prove that there’s no lost city on the bottom of the ocean.  Dr. Henderson-Caldwell says that my early chapters are among the most thoroughly researched and footnoted that he has ever had the pleasure to revise. 

For those of you still sitting here, let me grab the class roll from Dr. Jones’ desk.  Wow.  Spring-loaded snakes in the top drawer.  Which one of you jocks did this?  Clever.  Might work on Dr. Jones.  Not me.  My fears are more practical, like shellfish or my father’s disapproval.  Doubt he can relate to that one.

So, no.  I might not be the “cool prof” on campus.  And no, I have not hunted down any buried treasure.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not qualified to teach you about how the development of farming impacted the Sumerian hunter/gatherer sociological dynamic.  That’s because at its core, archaeology is about finding hidden depths in simple objects.  Like, this coffee mug.  One day, a future civilization will look back on this mug and wonder what sort of person or group would use it for--

Know what?  Since you’re already making your way to the door, let’s just call it a day right there.  But please make a concerted effort to make the next lecture.  If Dr. Jones comes back next month and finds that his entire seminar has dropped out, I will be a dead man.  And I cannot lose my grant money.  With my resume, I doubt I can find another part-time job to pay for my room and board.


-30-


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